Tired of being associated with Indian Summer - the illegitimate offspring of the Summer and Fall seasons - Native Americans have begun protesting in earnest ahead of its 2005 arrival.
The past year has been a particularly eventful one for American Indian activists. Attempting to capitalize upon the momentum generated from a string of offensive mascot eradication victories, tribes across the country have banded together in a united front against this meteorological curiosity.
Indian Summer has long been the Native American's "White Whale" of offensiveness. Prior to its appearance in the coming months, they're hoping to disassociate themselves from it once and for all.
Familiar to most residing in the continental U.S., save those living in the fourth dimension known as Southern California, the term "Indian Summer" dates back to the 18th century. It's defined as a brief occurrence of warm weather in October or early November. Indian Summer's overwhelmingly good standing with the popular mass has never been seriously challenged.
Unseasonably pleasant temperatures in the afternoon and balmy breezes in the evening are inherent to this weather anomaly, thus contributing to its popularity. Native Americans feel quite differently; however, and have quietly had their bows and arrows trained on it for centuries.
Chief Double-Down of the Shawnee Nation recently released the following statement to the wire services in an attempt to explain why his people find Indian Summer so offensive:
"This is yet another example of the Native American's proud heritage being exploited for the greater good of the American people. Entire families enjoying glasses of lemonade on their porches; giggling girls skipping rope in their driveways and giddy boys squeezing in extra ballgames before winter's arrival. All the while, the American Indian is forced to suffer the indignity of being associated with what essentially amounts to an inexplicable weather event.
"Four seasons comprise the white man's calendar year. Throughout history, the American Indian has been deprived the honor of participating in any of them. Many moons have risen and fallen while we have fought our proud culture's unwilling affiliation with your Indian Summer. All to no avail.
"Collectively, Indian nations across the country have petitioned for association with an official season, as opposed to Indian Summer. Most tribal leaders feel the winter months capture the essence of the Native American spirit: grit, perseverance, struggle. Qualities that define us and our heritage.
Spring, Summer, Fall, Indian Winter.
For that is what we fight and we shall not rest until this injustice is rectified."
For interested parties, the American Indian Heritage Foundation has organized a Million Mohawk March on Washington, D.C. that will be held Saturday, November 5. It will begin at The Mall and conclude on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial where the hope is for American Indians to declare their own emancipation proclamation from Indian Summer servitude.
Godspeed.
(Editor's Note: Please direct all defamation lawsuit-related matters to Matthew McCoy's counsel: Kenneth & Reginald, LLP, 1 Rosencrans Way, Boston, MA 02215)
How! Kimosabe!! Posted: 10/20/2005by: Chief Double Bullets Me like big white dummy talk! Woman of HMK is funny fat girl that sit in front of computer till eagle fly home from far journey. She make chief laugh. HAR HAR! Me like little fat one.....me give you name.......LONESOME LITTLE FAT is now you "injun" name. You go now and make 'um chief laugh some more. HAR HAR! HMK Posted: 10/20/2005by: matt Very well. I shall be wathcing from my ivory tower. Godd day to you Mr. Peanut. Matt Posted: 10/19/2005by: HMK I don't have a problem with African Americans or most of the Native Americans I know. I am smart enough to realize that I am a product of my environment and my OWN experiences in life. My parents dont share my view of the Northwest Indian population, most of it came from being a commercial diver and being ripped off every season when the Indians got most of the quota. I learned all the same history you did, yet in the end it is the CURRENT time that molds and distorts my views and I am ok with that and I own it. You know for a man that claims to be oh so righteous, what kind of comment was that about Scots and Irish, maybe youre the bigot?
Good Bye- I am going to go ride my horse home now. Matt Posted: 10/19/2005by: HMK Hey come on out here to Washington (especially Western) and then let me know how bad the indians have it. Matt Posted: 10/19/2005by: HMK Yes you are crying, and apparently you are a VICTIM of history. You are right about one thing, I am white and spoiled. I am part Scottish, Irish, and My grandfather was 1/2 Blackfoot Indian out of Montana. So I guess I am also a victim of history, but I ain't cryin, grow the fuck up WHITE boy. HMK Posted: 10/19/2005by: matt Yes they do get many benefits for being the first ones? Man jsut when I thougth you wrote the dumbest thing ever, you keep writing. Yes after the white man gave them diseased blankets and raped their land and women they threw them a few morsels and let them having shithole land in Oklahoma and Arizona. Nope never was a slave nor owned one actually. And since we are revealing so much of ourselves am an 1/8 Crow and the rest is just dumb drunk Irish. So either way you slice it someone in my family has been fucked off some land. I ain't crying about it, but I sure as hell ain't glaring at the "injuns" and their big casinos as I double down on 11. Yes you are white, well off, and spoiled. The truth hurts. Deal with it. Matt Posted: 10/19/2005by: HMK You are so right, the blacks were originally slaves right? Your the dumb ass not me. The Indians have westernized yet they still get many, many benefits of being THE FIRST. Once again you missed my point. Ive never owned or was a slave, I didnt lose my land to the white man nor did I take it as a white man, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I havent burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-f-up already. Last thought 1st thought Posted: 10/19/2005by: matt Sorry I didn't read your longer comment. Try livinfg endangred??I had you pegged all wron before. I thought you may be an itelligent, good humored woman. But I see now you are complete moron. Live endanged? Why so you and half a million tourist can get a kick out of buying Navio blankets or Fire Water. Get real. You first dmna them for living like savages, and then when they adapt and prosper off a rancid capitalistic lifetysle you crticize them for not living like their ancestors. Unbeleivable. I suppose black people should resort back to being slaves us white people can feel good about affirmative action. HMK (double sigh) Posted: 10/19/2005by: matt OH! Well if it is tainted surely it is not narrow minded and ignorant. I suppose the Klu Klux Klan or the Nazis had a tainted view of their despised race. I mean Hitler's father was fired by a Jewish man, thus I guess I can forgive him for his tainted view. Yes, hyperboles did run amok on that comment. Nevertheless, a tainted view does not excue a racist view. Matt Posted: 10/19/2005by: HMK You may have also noticed I POINTED OUT that my view was tainted.
