Posts: 2 Rank: 189
Member Since:
10/23/2005
Location:
Sandusky, OH
Posted: 10/2/2007
Lookin' good, Scott.
Dear NFL Fans,
The NFL season has barely gotten underway, yet all voting has been halted for the NFL's Most Awesome-Looking Player Award. Experts and fans have agreed that the race would be too one-sided and that any further running of the contest would only insult humanity and needlessly spread violence throughout America. The unanimous champion of looking awesome this year in the National Football League is Scott Player, a veteran punter who signed with the Cleveland Browns only two weeks...
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Posts: 1945 Rank: 5 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 10/2/2007 3:06:45 PM
Call me 1-800-324-0192 Seriously.
Christine - Don't you see?!! This is your BIG BIG chance to be able to call in whenever you want and not have to think up new excuses! Follow these easy steps and you will have job security for life. 1) Schedule the interview with Matasyahu. 2) Get yourself whored up, as usual, paying close attention to the perfume you use and the amount of cleavage you are showing. Wear a shirt that allows for full boob viewage if you bend over. Lace bra. 3) During interview, make sure you two are alone. 4) Ask him whatever questions you'd like (dc's were pretty good. While he is answering, make sure you stare dep into his eyes while tracing the end of your pen around your lips, sucking lightly on it every once in a while. 5) Drop your pen. A lot. DO NOT LOOK AT HIM WHEN YOU PIC IT UP. This will give him a free look at the twins, thus keeping a deep sense of sex in his mind. 6) Keep asking him "Is it hot in here to you to?" 7) Always answer a Yes or No question with a sultry "MmmHmmm" or "Uh Uh" while giving him baby doll eyes. 8) At the end of the interview tell him "I realllllly enjoyed talking to you sir. I could listen to you alllll night long."
What happens after that can very surely secure your position at the company....
Good luck!!!
"With my feet upon the ground I lose myself between the sounds and open wide to suck it in, I feel it move across my skin. I'm reaching up and reaching out, I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me. And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been. We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been. Spiral out. Keep going."
Posts: 714 Rank: 18 Joined:
6/20/2007
Location:
Norristown, PA
Posted: 10/2/2007 3:09:06 PM
Its positive exposure. You should go for it.
When the man comes for your job for missing eighteen weeks of work for deaths in the family, natural disaster relocation, various diseases, river blindness and wardrobe malfunctions you can always say you wrote an article for the office newsletter.
Posts: 2748 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 10/2/2007 3:17:02 PM
In two minutes. 1st, my office mate was trying to ask me about a song and she started singing it and she has the worst fucking voice I have ever heard. it turned out to be that gay 5 for fight group and now I hate her more.
2nd, i knew spartan's # was bullshit right away, but I had to call. Ha!
3rd- I just found lettuce in my bra.
4th- DC, you cann't fuck through a sheet. well..you definitely cannot fuck the queen through a sheet.
Posts: 2748 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 10/2/2007 3:22:17 PM
it was lettuce. and the #1 way to tell if you're a fat girl is probably by noticing that you are fat. or your clothing size or when no one calls, or when kids snicker as you walk by, or when your dad says, "do you really need the ice cream" or when you gym teacher makes you run more than the other girls, or when your brothers say, "holy shit you are fucking fat".
but yeah, lettuce in the bra is up there too. Put your hat back on, the glare is blinding me.
I like it when the board gets some spice. Christine, great work with post 91. I would submit "When you blow a guy and he doesn't cum." I'm sorry angel I had to.
Posts: 2748 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 10/2/2007 3:49:27 PM
it was a french fry, I fucking starving. Some skank is selling candy for her kids school too and she keeps walking by my office shaking a reese's pieces bag. I'm going to tackle her.
nicky, I don't think you are bald either. i was just having some fun. you got at least two more solid years with that hair.
Posts: 714 Rank: 18 Joined:
6/20/2007
Location:
Norristown, PA
Posted: 10/2/2007 3:49:49 PM
What the fuck?
The rich get richer with your trickle down theory of fantasy football. Let's see...your family hates blacks, you don't give to the poor, you don't work much but have a good job - sounds like a Reaganite to me.
