I really have to put a stop to this glorification of giant penises. Seriously, I cant take it anymore. From pills like Longitude to Swedish penis pumps, the fascination with having a monster manhood is out of control. Well, Im going to let you in on a little secret. I happen to have one of those huge cocks, and it isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Yeah, yeah. I suppose its better than having a really small penis, but this damn thing hanging between my legs is ridiculous. If I had the option, Id trade it in for regular-sized member in a second. Shit, Id even take one on the small side. Five inches sounds great to me. Im not kidding. There are three inches of me that is still a virgin. Thats just frustrating. There is only so many times you can hear, slow, slow, slow, ouch before you start to wonder if it is all worth it.
Everybody always focuses on the few positives, but let me tell you, it aint all church picnics and ice cream sandwiches. Most of the time its just a nuisance.
Take for example your morning BM. I bet you dont even think about it when you roll out of bed, grab the Daily Tribune, and head for the head. Well not me. No reading the newspaper while I cut turds. I need both handsone to wipe and one to hold my stupid, giant penis. One slip up and my junk is bobbing in the bowl with a school of Bumpy Brownfish. Sound like fun to you?
And I cant tell you how many movies Ive missed the first ten minutes of because I am getting the third degree from the damn ticket taker about trying to smuggle in outside food.
Sir, you cant take that cappicola into the theater.
Less is More.
What am I supposed to say? There are kids around. Its embarrassing.
And, how about shorts? Those must be nice. Its damn hot right now in Los Angeles, but unless I want to risk exposing myself to the world, I am in trousers. I cant even wear boxer shorts. You see, its not just the size; its the weight. I need some support. Not that briefs don't pose their own set of problems. Putting them on is like trying to stretch a twin-size, fitted sheet over a king-size mattress, but its better than the back problems I had when I was letting that monstrosity hang free.
Dont even get me started on condomsMagnum, you say? Yeah, right. Those things are like a tourniquet. I might as well try to squeeze into the tuxedo from a Ken doll. One time, while on vacation in Mexico, I met up with this hottie local scuba instructor, Maria. We hit it off. She even tried to act excited when I pulled out my curse, but I could see the terror in her eyes. She didnt have any trash bags or shower curtains, and I wasnt about to raw dog it with some Third World trollop, so I ended up using the left leg of a youth-size wetsuit for protection. I couldnt feel a goddamn thing with that on. It was a disaster.
And forget about oral. I mean, some girls might try it for the novelty, but unless shes a circus performer youre half-mast even before she starts complaining about her jaw hurting.
Sure, there are some girls who love a great big penis, but those girls are all skanks. Im looking for a nice girl, not some loose tramp who I am embarrassed to take home to my mom. And dont try to tell me you are a nice girl who likes her men big. If your g-spot is the underside of your left ventricle, you are a skanky ho, and I am not introducing you to my family.
Guys are even worse. In public restrooms I try to be discreet and only pull out enough to keep my pants dry, but there is always some guy staring at me. What is the fascination? Its just a big penis for Gods sake. I dont want to hear about how not gay you are either; just look up and finish your business. And no, you cannot touch it, so stop asking me! I am a human being, not some freak show petting zoo.
So the next time you see a well-hung porn star like Lexington Steele plowing some professional penis rider, remember that not all of us are porn stars. Some of us are just regular guys trying get through the day without closing our big, dumb penis in a car door. Be thankful you dont have to worry about that.
uti Posted: 11/5/2006by: big guy for the guy who said his gf gets uti's its not because u have a big dick its because she doesnt take a piss after u guys fuck my gf used to get em to til she started pissin right after we would fuck. never happens anymore. your welcome hel me i need a natural way to grow mine Posted: 11/3/2006by: scotty hi. im over average i think, im about 6.3 . the problem is that i can never get my girl to scream plz wot can i do to my werner without medication or pumps plz hel me man............................ hel me i need a natural way to grow mine Posted: 11/3/2006by: scotty hi. im over average i think, im about 6.3 . the problem is that i can never get my girl to scream plz wot can i do to my werner without medication or pumps plz hel me man............................ Your Not The Only One Posted: 11/2/2006by: Damoz Dude my cock is huge 2 its 18 inches and that not even wen its stiff. Some girls i've been with love my cock but some well dont like it as much. but we are lucky in one way even if we're not gay we can suck on our own cocks, trust me i no a lot of straight guys who would like to get to their cocks like we can. I AGREE Posted: 10/29/2006by: Nikki Hello,
I agree with you about magnum condoms. My ex is 11.5 inches and we would go through a box of 12 with 3 encounters. It is very difficult for him to put it on ... Then when he does it doesnt go all the way down .. and sometimes I would cumm so hard that I would pull it off .. Then he would try to put another one on .. and by pulling at it .. he would sometimes put a hole in it .. then another one .. lol
It wasnt pleasant at first when I saw it .. Im like OMG .. Where are you gonna stick that .. But . He was my man .. So I tried until I got used to it .. and I actually love it .. No he cant put the whole thing in .. I dont think .. lol But .. We have done so many positions and I love it!
Its not good for a big man because most females cant take it but .. It takes time and patience ... Dont worry sweetie .. You will find a female that can work on it like I did for my ex ..
ps. He's only my ex because he moved away to go to school .. But we are still friends .. ask Posted: 8/19/2006by: oumar hi i want buy it i'm in china how i can buy it plz? My dick Posted: 8/14/2006by: Matthew Hey ,.... im 12 years old im gonna be 13 in 3 days! YAY! any wayz, ... well my cock is about 10 inches long. Its huge, ... and its like 8 inches around. I love it. My girlfriend luvs wen i whip it out! She luvs to suk on it, ..... I doo it myself and it feels so good. My dick Posted: 8/14/2006by: Matthew Hey ,.... im 12 years old im gonna be 13 in 3 days! YAY! any wayz, ... well my cock is about 10 inches long. Its huge, ... and its like 8 inches around. I love it. My girlfriend luvs wen i whip it out! She luvs to suk on it, ..... I doo it myself and it feels so good. Nice article Posted: 8/5/2006by: Dan I have a larger than average penis and it aint so great. Since I been with my gf (for last 3 months) shes had 2 urinary tract infections from my bread stick hitting the back walls of her vagina. Aint nice when your missus is pissing blood and you cant root her for a few days Truth Is... Posted: 7/16/2006by: Tony He must really be very small...I have a big one as well, but no one has ever complained and I have had no problems...Hell, I am proud of what I got...
