AFGHANISTAN (AP) - A week after terrorist kingpin Osama bin Laden appeared in a video threatening terrorist attacks on U.S. soil, Arabic adult media distributor Al-Jizzeera announced the release of their own video of the Al-Qaeda chief.
The movie, Laden with Lust, is the amateur sex tape recovered by U.S. forces during a 2001 raid on an abandoned Al-Qaeda cave in Afghanistan. Early reports indicate that the video features bin Laden getting intimate with his former fling, Gomal the pygmy goat.
After experts scrutinized the video for hours, they positively identified the grunts and sexual organ as bin Ladens. However, there is still debate as to whether the animal in the video is really a goat, and if it is a goat-if the goat is indeed Gomal or just a hired look-a-like.
The question arises: why would bin Laden, a man who has eluded international authorities through careful tactics, be so careless with such a potentially image-damaging item?
One school of thought posits that the video was conspicuously and intentionally left behind in the cave. George Bright, representing Santa Monica think tank RAND Corporation, warns, This is exactly what bin Laden had in mind. He wants this video to be widely circulated to prove to the world that he is still alive and well-hung.
 | Will the real Gomal please stand up? |
Barry Diamond, another RAND associate, offers, We all know there is no such thing as bad press, even if it means getting caught bumping uglies with a mountain dwelling creature.
In the United States, leaked celebrity sex tapes have rarely crippled the careers of the involved participants. In fact, more often than not the scandalous videos have created or even invigorated public reputations.
So has bin Laden, ringleader of the worlds most dangerous terrorist group, taken a cue from Paris Hilton, Americas top celebutante and home video star? Apparently maybe.
Lucas Reminick, a professor of political science at Brown, makes a poignant analogy: The leak of a sex tape is like breaking a bone: at first you are injured and overcome with pain, but in the healing process the bone becomes more calcified and stronger. Well, that and everybody knows what kind of goods you may or may not be packing.
Public relations expert Lily Jurgis asks, What person in their right mind is going to take a proven zoophiliac like that seriously? Who is going to sit at the negotiation table and offer a sexually uninhibited goat in exchange for the cease of worldwide terrorist activity? Wait, I might be on to something here. . .
If the release of "Laden with Lust" is met with favorable sales, Al-Jizzeera may think about distributing their entire home video catalogue. The next slated release features Cuban dictator Fidel Castro in the underground homoerotic classic Smokin Cubans.
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