Note to the Readers- Some haters would say that it's the wrong time of the year to talk football. That it's 'not football season'. I disagree. I say, to paraphrase Robin Harris's Sweet-Dick Willie from "Do the Right Thing", that's it's never too early, and never too late... for football.
I hope y'all agree, and that you enjoy this little historical analogy, even if it is a bit 'out of season'.
The Pittsburgh Steelers may wear the black-and-gold, they may play their football in Western Pennsylvania, their fans may wave thoseTerrible Towels, and they may think they’re the descendents of the Pittsburgh greats of yore... but they’re not. What Bill Cowher’s Steelers really are is the re-incarnation of Chuck Knox’s Rams of the 1970s. Now, those Rams were very good... but if Steeler fans care about things like finally getting back to the damn Super Bowl, they'd as soon wish their own team followed in someone else's footsteps.
The 1970s Rams- Just Good Enough to Lose
From 1973 to 1979, the Los Angeles Rams won seven straight division titles- a record for consecutive championships in pro football. They had a regular-season record of 75-26-1, a mark topped only by the dynastic Steelers. A superb series of drafts kept the talent coming in, and feeble competition in the NFC West made the going smoother, at least until late December (I'm linking to my own stuff. I know, I'm an A-hole). L.A.’s defense, led by ends Jack Youngblood and Fred "Detective Sergeant Rick Hunter" Dryer, and anchored by middle linebacker Jack "Hacksaw" Reynolds, was among the league’s best. With Lawrence McCutcheon (Daylon's more distinguished old man), Cullen Bryant, and later Wendell Tyler, they were also an outstanding running team, with one of the best offensive lines in the league. The offense hummed along with their 'Ground Chuck' game during the regular season. But L.A.’s Achilles Heel was turmoil at the starting quarterback spot.
This weakness cost the Rams dearly season after season during the NFC playoffs. Los Angeles lost four NFC Championship Games in a five-year span from 1974 to 1978, twice at home by lopsided margins to the Cowboys, and twice in Minnesota. L.A. also lost at Dallas in the ’73 divisional playoffs, and at home to the Vikings in the ’77 divisional round. In nine playoff games against the Vikings and Cowboys during the Me Decade, Los Angeles was just 3-6.
L.A.’s two main rivals for NFC dominance enjoyed just the quarterback stability that the Rams lacked. Roger Staubach was the starter for all six playoff games between the Rams and Cowboys in the ’70s. By contrast, the Rams started four different quarterbacks in those games- John Hadl in 1973, James Harris in 1975, Pat Haden in 1976 and ’78, and Vince Ferragamo in 1979.
Minnesota was also a model of quarterback consistency compared to the Rams. The Vikings did start two different quarterbacks during their four playoff clashes with Los Angeles in the ’70s- backup Bob Lee pinch-hit for an injured Fran Tarkenton in the 1977 and ’78 divisional playoff games. But in the two money matchups, the 1974 and 1976 NFC Championship Games, Tarkenton was healthy and in the lineup. In 1974 the Rams had James Harris, who had backed up John Hadl until Hadl was traded to Green Bay halfway through the season. Harris aborted a 98-yard drive by throwing an interception from the Viking one-yard line, and the Rams lost 14-10. In 1976 the starter was Pat Haden, a rookie. Haden completed just nine passes and was intercepted twice in a 24-13 loss.
In all, the Rams utilized five different starting quarterbacks in eleven playoff games from 1973 to ’79, and two in their four NFC Championship Game losses. They also substituted twice in the latter four games (Harris was pulled for Ron Jaworski after injuring his finger in the 37-7 loss to Dallas in 1975, and Haden was yanked for Vince Ferragamo in the second half of the '78 title game, a 28-0 loss to the Cowboys). The numbers for those two starters and two subs? A combined 47 of 102 (46%) for 763 yards, two touchdowns, and twelve interceptions. I calculated the passer rating generated by these numbers, and it comes out to 32.7. Wow. That's awful. Meanwhile, Tarkenton and Staubach combined for 51 of 98 (52%) for 612 yards, seven touchdowns, and five interceptions, for a passer rating of 74.0. Not spectacular, but efficient (I’m not counting the 2-of-2 for 26 yards Clint "The Mad Bomber" Longley posted relieving Staubach late in Dallas’s ’75 title game rout). Turnovers destroyed the Rams’ hopes for a Super Bowl every season. The Rams didn’t win an NFC Championship Game until 1979, and that victory, an ugly three-field goal, 9-0 shutout that Sports Illustrated referred to as a game "played by losers, for losers", came against an expansion Tampa Bay team during ironically, L.A.’s worst season record-wise of that era.
The Bill Cowher Steelers- Just Good Enough to Lose... at Home
So you see where we’re going with this. Since Bill Cowher took over as head coach in 1992, the Steelers have won six AFC Central Championships and two AFC North Championships. They have owned home-field advantage throughout the AFC Playoffs four times. Since 1994, the Steelers have played in five AFC Championship Games. The Rams also played in five NFC Championship Games during the 1970s, although only two of them were at home. All five of Pittsburgh’s recent AFC title appearances have come in either Three Rivers Stadium or Heinz Field. Their one victory, in 1995, was a 20-16 squeaker over a mediocre Colts team, and in that one the Steelers had to rally from a fourth-quarter deficit and withstand a Jim Harbaugh Hail Mary attempt that was very nearly successful. Oddly, this win was the only one of Pittsburgh’s five recent title games in which they were outgained by their opponent. It also came in a season in which the Steelers didn’t have home-field throughout; Kansas City, an even mangier postseason dog than Pittsburgh, had it, and lost to the Colts.
And what has happened any time the Steelers have played a quality opponent? To wit:
1994: Playing at Three Rivers Stadium against the double-digit underdog Chargers, the Steelers blow a 13-3 third-quarter lead thanks to two long touchdown passes by Stan Humphries. Neil O’Donnell’s last-gasp pass into the end zone from the Charger 3-yard line is batted down. San Diego 17, Pittsburgh 13
Total Yards: Pittsburgh 415, San Diego 226
Turnovers: San Diego 1, Pittsburgh 1
Neil O’Donnell’s Line: 32 of 54 for 349 yards, one touchdown, no picks. Decent numbers, but he couldn't get his team into the end zone from inside the five in the closing moments.
... And Neither was Kordell
1997: The Wild-Card Broncos come into Three Rivers, jump out to a 24-14 halftime lead, and hold off the Steelers to win 24-21. Elway goes on to the first Super Bowl he would actually win.
Total Yards: Pittsburgh 354, Denver 345
Turnovers: Pittsburgh 4, Denver 2
Kordell Stewart’s Line: 18 of 36 for 201 yards, a touchdown and three interceptions. One of those picks came in the Denver end zone. He ran for a 33-yard touchdown to tie the game 7-7 in the first quarter, but Kordell sure as heck wasn't going to option-run Pittsburgh to the Super Bowl.
2001: Playing at home as a double-digit favorite, again, the Steelers allow two touchdowns on special teams and lose 24-17 to the Patriots. Pittsburgh gives up a 55-yard punt return for a score by Troy Brown to give New England a 7-0 lead, and has a field goal blocked and taken the other way for a touchdown that puts the Steelers in a 21-3 hole in the third quarter. Pittsburgh rallies but can’t take advantage of opportunities to tie the game late. To be fair to the Steelers, that New England team was a little better than advertised.
Total Yards: Pittsburgh 306, New England 259
Turnovers: Pittsburgh 4, New England 0
Kordell Stewart’s Line: 24 of 42 for 255 yards and three interceptions. Two came in the last three minutes, strangling potential rallies. Not to be hard on Kordell, but this is about as clear a case of a quarterback letting his team down that I have ever seen.
2004: New England comes into Hines Field and for the second time in four seasons denies the Steelers a trip to the Super Bowl, this time winning going away, 41-27. New England takes advantage of three first-half turnovers by Pittsburgh to take a 24-3 halftime lead and holds off the Steelers rather easily in the second half.
Total Yards: Pittsburgh 388, New England 322
Turnovers: Pittsburgh 4, New England 0
Ben Roethlisberger’s Line: 14 of 24 for 226 yards with two touchdowns and three interceptions, including one taken back 87 yards for a score by Rodney Harrison to make it 24-3 New England and effectively end Pittsburgh’s chance of winning the game. Not to be hard on Big Ben, but this is about as clear a case of- oh, sorry about that.
Three different quarterbacks have started for Pittsburgh in three separate trips to the playoffs in ’01, ’02, and ’04- Kordell, Tommy Maddox, and Roethlisberger. The Steelers have started two different QBs in the three championship games of 1997, ’01, and ’04. The two have combined to throw three touchdown passes and nine interceptions. In the two losses to New England and the setback to Denver, the Steelers have committed twelve turnovers and have an almost unbelievable -10 turnover ratio. In fact, in eight quarters of title-game football against the Patriots, the Pittsburgh defense hasn’t forced a single turnover, while its offense has turned it over eight times. That’s it right there. You cannot win these games if you are committing turnovers, and you definitely cannot win these games if you are committing turnovers and not getting turnovers from your opponent (that goes for the Browns too; Cleveland’s -5 turnover ratio in those two games against Denver contributed mightily to the losses. In fact, the only notable exception to this rule is the ’81 49ers, who turned it over six times and still beat the Cowboys 28-27).
Denver’s quarterback in ’97? That dastardly #7. New England’s in 2001 and 2004? Tom Brady. Steelers, 0-3.
Off to a Bad Start
Other similarities to the 1970s Rams: The Rams never led in any of their four losses. In their last three defeats, the Steelers have never led. Both teams have given up blocked-kick returns for touchdowns (New England's block 'n forward lateral in 2001, and Minnesota's, in the first quarter in 1976. The Rams had taken the opening kickoff and driven to a first-and-goal at the six. Los Angeles failed to punch it in in three tries, and with it fourth and about twelve inches to go, Chuck Knox elected to take the 'sure' field goal. Tom Dempsey’s half-footed kick was blocked, scooped up on the dead run by Bobby Bryant, and returned 90 yards for a touchdown, giving the Vikings the lead). Both teams have given up interception returns for touchdowns; Harrison’s 87-yarder in January and a game-clinching 68-yarder by Hollywood Henderson in the ’78 NFC title game, after which Hollywood compounded the Rams' humiliation by taking off on coke-fueled legs and spiking the football over the goal post.
In Closing...
The Steelers and their fans are simply going to have to hope that in Ben Roethlisberger they will have the stability at quarterback that has costed them the Super Bowl four times and well, made them the ’70s Rams of the ’Aughts. Either that or hope they can stop playing the Patriots and host a team a little more congenital, like, say, the Browns. Last January the Steelers trotted out Rocky Bleier, Mel Blount, Joe Greene and L.C. Greenwood as honorary captains. If they don’t get their act straightened out and start winning these games, they may want to call Youngblood, Dryer, McCutcheon and Dave Elmendorf instead. It would be more apropo.
Nice catch. The title is indeed a play on "Springtime for Hitler". I had to put a little juice in the title, because there wasn't much in the piece itself.
As far as the Indians are concerned, it'll take Willie Mayes Hayes, Pedro Sorrano, Albert Belle, and the ghost of Lou Beaudreau to get this sorry team back in it. But don't kid yourself- the White Sox aren't going to win the Central either. This is still Minnesota's division.
Wow Posted: 5/18/2005by: PETE If the title of this article is a reference to Mel Brooks's "The Producers" then I salute you, sir.
However, unless the Indians can resign Willie Mays Hayes you don't have a chance in the central, and yes I know this post was about football but I didn't have any slightly funny football jokes.
White Sox. To the Toms Posted: 5/16/2005by: Jesse L. Tom,
Touche. I know I'm vulnerable to those kinds of shots. "On the real", I actually do have a certain amount of respect for the Steelers... I'm a Cowher fan from his days as the Browns special teams coach, and of course every Browns fan ought to remember that Steeler fans had our back when Modell took our team to Baltimore. But damn, bro... I'd almost rather go 4-12 than go out the way y'all do almost every season. That's got to be painful. BTW, Heath Miller is going to be a beast.
Tom A.,
Thanks for your recollections. I dig your old-skewl Vikings yarns- I hope they become a staple once my column goes 'football only' in a couple of months. One small caveat- that rainy Rams-Vikings playoff game was in 1977, and the score was actually 14-7 (Chuck Foreman had 101 yards and a score). But I got your gist.
Brown Frown Posted: 5/16/2005by: Tom Wow... a steelers bashing from a self proclaimed " die-hard cleveland fan" who would have thunk it? Maybe Kellen Winslow will help out your browns next year when they come to Heinz Field.... no wait... He's not going to be playing AGAIN!!!!! Shut your mouth son Posted: 5/16/2005by: The Mert's Dad It's called artistic license you idiot... But what you would know about that? You are a fucking half-wit hater. Go back to surfing porn, and call your mother. She's been in a bad mood ever since I beat the shit out of her.
