Posts: 1 Rank: 286
Member Since:
10/24/2005
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 10/3/2007
The Halos haven't recovered from '86
There is no better time to be a voracious consumer of professional sports and amateur athletics than the present.
Unless you're a Mets fan - New York City's perennial second-class citizen;
Unless you're Trevor Hoffman - arguably the game's greatest career closer who came undone like trousers in a rub and tug the final weeks of the season;
Unless you're Gary Bettman - who decided that the solution to his League's seemingly never-ending pursuit of irrelevance was to start the 11-month-...
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Posts: 852 Rank: 3 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Los Angeles, CA
Posted: 10/3/2007 2:14:08 PM
I give the Angels zero chance of winning this series, they got hobbled at the worst possible time. I just want to go and be in that electric atmosphere. Last year I went to the only Dodger home playoff game, and even though they lost, it was a great time (thank god for the man who invented the flask).
Re: Toque - Some naive part of me believes our justice system is corrupted and broken enough that a man with the intelligence of Toque will get out of this with just a slap on the wrist.
We've got to hold on to hope, Christine! It's all we've got left!
That last line was me practicing for a role in some summer blockbuster a la Armageddon.
Posts: 1926 Rank: 6 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 10/3/2007 2:14:11 PM
your last post actually made me laugh. Quit while you are ahead.
Christine - I'm betting he will be put on probation, pay a fine and most likely have to attend at least one month of AA and a driving class. He won't be going to jail. Trust me. Besides, Toque's a giant, sleepyheads confuse him for their god. He'd be just fine in the chink....I mean, clink.
I hope Toque gets a face tatoo when he's inside.
()
Post #: 55
Posts: 1517 Rank: 5 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 10/3/2007 2:19:47 PM
Bearnuts, my proclivity for typos does not make my point any less salient. I agree that they must be doing something right if they'e in the playoffs, but as I said before they didn't deserve any attention before 2 weeks ago, so whining that they weren't getting any doesn't make sense. Now every know-nothing dildo in Colorado (and around the country) is going to hop on the bandwagon because they seem like a trendy underdog. I guaran-fucking-tee that will annoy you soon enough.
And it makes sense that all everyone talks about there is the Broncos, Nuggets and Avalanche considering those three teams actually make the playoffs once in awhile ("awhile" defined as a period of time less than 12 years). But, I think it's cool Todd Helton is getting some national attention. He's mired in obscurity for too long.
Posts: 768 Rank: 2 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Seattle, WA
Posted: 10/3/2007 2:20:57 PM
Spart – I appreciate the murse love. Working on the new article right now. But if anyone has a topic they’d like to hear about I’m open to suggestions.
There will be no more Paul Kersey chronicles. The guys wanted to stop writing them. Unless Charlie will let me finish it. If you have any ideas of how it should end or elaborate sex escapades send ‘em to me toquebongrip@gmail.com
Re: jail – If convicted I will have to do a mandatory minimum of at least 1 day in jail. Worst case scenario 2. If that happens you can bet your sweet ass their will be an article about that shit. But let’s pray it never comes to that/eat a cookie.
Posts: 115 Rank: 2102 Joined:
7/23/2007
Location:
Albany, NY
Posted: 10/3/2007 2:22:34 PM
If I knew how to quit while I was ahead, I wouldn't still be coming here, I wouldn't be so fat, I wouldn't have a drinking problem, I wouldn't have 7 freaking tatoos, and that poor little boy would still be alive, with only a slight persistent rectal itch.
I have to go get ready for a mandatory staff meeting, in which we'll all learn why following directions from an idiot isn't enough to be considered good employees. Also, that idiot will not have to pay any consequences for his incompetence, which has cost the company around 80k in the last 3 months.
"When I first met you didn't realize, now I can't forget you or your surprise. You introduced me to my mind, and left me wanting you and your kind."
Posts: 1517 Rank: 5 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 10/3/2007 2:24:42 PM
I don't see how Toque striking fear into the hearts of Asians will help him in prison. We haven't sent a slant-eye to prison since the Japanese internment camps closed. If I'm not mistaken I think prison is mostly inhabited by the black folk. But, I'm not all that familiar with Washington's penal system. Is it like a Twilight Zone episode where the Black people are nerds and the Asians are car thieves?
But on the other hand i can barely tolerate people in any public setting. Butt least at the ball park i can be distracted from the retards that breed in this world by the beauty of baseball.
And i agree about the bandwagon too, some 'ican (not sure if she's the mex, peurt, domin, or another variety) just printed a "Go Rockies" Banner in her cube. Since she's a lazy bitch and will leave by 4 pm i'm gonna take it down before i leave today.
Posts: 1065 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
Denver, CO
Posted: 10/3/2007 2:59:39 PM
I have made it my goal to "accidentally" run into and hopefully knock over anyone downtown that has a fresh from the store Rockies shirt on today on my way back to the car. If anything I'm going to scuff the fuck out of some shoes.
Posts: 1926 Rank: 6 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 10/3/2007 3:07:29 PM
dc - What firm do you work for? I probably know your compliance manager.
Vert - Admittedly, I know that the 'chink' line was douchetastic, but I was trying to wrap up the post because this giant gash I work with was lingering outside of my office (read: cube) because I have brick of Trader Joe's chocolate on my desk and that shit to a fat girl is like a purple light to a mosquito.
Toque - really? there's a minimum day or two for your first DUI convictin in Washington? that's fucking weak. Hopefully you can plea to a reckless. Usually, they'll offer it if you have no priors, and weren't a dick to the cops. oops, sorry, forgot it was you, that might be on the table.
Best way out of a DUI - always keep an unopened pint of your drink of choice, whiskey is best, locked in your glove box. When you get pulled over, and know you're over the limit, wait for the cop to walk up to the window - do not put it down - instead take your keys out of the ignition, toss them out the other window, closing it immeadiately after, pull your bottle out of the glove box, and making sure you have the cops attention, crack the seal and chug (make sure he see that there was a seal). When finished, open your window and say officer, can you call me a cab, I don't think I can drive now that I drank that bottle. Enjoy your beating, but know that they cannot prove you were drunk before you were stopped.
Posts: 1252 Rank: 8 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 10/3/2007 3:17:36 PM
If this works "Best way out of a DUI - always keep an unopened pint of your drink of choice, whiskey is best, locked in your glove box. When you get pulled over, and know you're over the limit, wait for the cop to walk up to the window - do not put it down - instead take your keys out of the ignition, toss them out the other window, closing it immeadiately after, pull your bottle out of the glove box, and making sure you have the cops attention, crack the seal and chug (make sure he see that there was a seal). When finished, open your window and say officer, can you call me a cab, I don't think I can drive now that I drank that bottle. Enjoy your beating, but know that they cannot prove you were drunk before you were stopped."
I'll fly to miami and we'll have the greatest hooker and coke fueled week of our lives.
Posts: 1926 Rank: 6 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 10/3/2007 3:17:43 PM
Your compliance officer is Valarie Wehr. She loves me. She has a nice voice. Is she hot? I imagine her to be. Tell her Josh from AIG said hi. Then stick your tongue in her ear and tell her I want to inspect her colon.
Posts: 1252 Rank: 8 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 10/3/2007 3:26:39 PM
You're telephone operater at AIG at least the one at (818)***-*000 sounds hot. Headbutt her left breast and tell her BigNick wants to chomp on her clit like a whole package of Big League Chew.
