Posts: 1 Rank: 286
Member Since:
10/24/2005
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 10/3/2007
The Halos haven't recovered from '86
There is no better time to be a voracious consumer of professional sports and amateur athletics than the present.
Unless you're a Mets fan - New York City's perennial second-class citizen;
Unless you're Trevor Hoffman - arguably the game's greatest career closer who came undone like trousers in a rub and tug the final weeks of the season;
Unless you're Gary Bettman - who decided that the solution to his League's seemingly never-ending pursuit of irrelevance was to start the 11-month-...
Read Full Story
Sort Comments: Filter By Rating:
Why should I sign up?
Post and rate comments, participate in discussions and enter contests.
Keep a list of your favorite writers and articles.
Earn points you can redeem at Shitley's for shirts, books and more.
I want to party with your cousin. Ordinarily I'd say 5 DUI's is extremely immature, but look at how he delivered it, wonderful.
I was at dinner last night explaining Deuce's halloween as a secret service aid last night, TPP has officially crossed the streams. Although the table did love it, they were confused when I explained the guy looks like Darth Vader's helmet on Mr. T's body.
Muenster, vermin is a great term. Captain Caveman.
Posts: 1926 Rank: 6 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:15:43 AM
Yesterday was my son's birthday, so I took him to Toys R Us and told him to get whatever he wanted. He ended up picking a $100 Lego set. I also picked up a $40 Spiderman scooter for my 3 year old and some candy. I got to the counter and put the shit up there and the check behind the counter was still dripping wet from her cross-border swim.
Her: "Dis won feet een bag. Too grande."
Me: *looks at giant Lego box* "That's fine. I can carry it."
Her: "Dat weel bee $46.32 por favor."
Me: *Stunned, but not an idiot* "Great. Here you go." "Come on kids. Let's go........I SAID NOW!!!"
So yeah, I'm a dishonest piece of shit.....that's a hundo up as far as I see it.
Posts: 1026 Rank: 11 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
two up two down, VA
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:18:52 AM
definitely onboard with judas & gargamel. hilarious.
vert - awesome. if yall plan to use that as an idea, and commit to it - plan to be the most sore you will ever be in your whole life the next day (broken bones not withstanding).
Posts: 1517 Rank: 5 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:27:06 AM
I saw the playlist posted on a newswire today and I was going to put it up here, but I think we already talked about that and don't want to be that guy. We did, right?
Christine, did you leave me a message last night that simply said "Boring..." and then hung up?
My roommate came up with an idea that I think I'm gonna have to go along with. Because of the high per capita population of total fucking D-bags down here, he want to go out as the "Douchebusters", as in like the ghostbusters but for D=bags. He bought jumpsuits, had patches made, and now he's building the backpacks with fire extinguishers in them, and an extention on the hose. They are of the powder variety, so it should be interesting. Also, he's been searchin on line for an old hearse to modify into the Douchebusters mobile. He's already purchased suction cup flashing lights for the roof and found a guy to make magnet strips for the doors. Worst case he's planning on using naother friends old "woody" style cherokee. I haven't yet decided if this is one of the best or worst ideas ever, but I know that it's likely to get us arrested, hence a real good time. I just ahve to look up what the penalty is for discharging a fire extinguisher in a public place. We may need to load those things with some other subtance. Any ideas?
Posts: 1065 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
Denver, CO
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:32:28 AM
I think I posted like the first 20 songs that were announced, the rest are awesome though. They actually have Eric Johnson on there, Cliffs of Dover will be ridiculous. That song is really fun on real guitar but hard as shit. I could play most of it back in college when I used to play a ton but his style is just so hard to imitate.
Posts: 698 Rank: 18 Joined:
6/20/2007
Location:
Norristown, PA
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:32:53 AM
Twenty years from now, who will the Mexicans make fun of/discriminate against?
The Eriterians? They declared independence from Ethiopia, which means they're broker than Ethopia. Last I remember 3 out of 4 of them lacked sufficient water. Ashy motherfuckers.
Canadians? Everyone makes fun of them. Don't even need a reason.
he's an engineer that quit his job 2 months ago to work on his book. which has turned into planning for halloween and binge drinking, but he's inventing some cool ideas for this shit. Also, living with an out of work engineer has made me take a closer look at our insurance policy.
Posts: 1065 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
Denver, CO
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:43:10 AM
Eye = Idea
I have no eye where that came from. I wish I could say I was stoned but the Broncos still have to win 3 more games first. Its going to be a long October.
Posts: 259 Rank: 29 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
East Lansing, MI
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:45:39 AM
Being the son of 2 engineers, I can see this either spiraling out of control, or rising to greatness. My dad has been "souping up" his old tractor for about 15 years now, and keeps adding non-factory parts to it to make it "run like a motherfucker". Keep an eye out for your friend, and make sure he gets at least 5 hours of sleep at night.
Other than that, make a Douchebag Trap. Have a metal box with some hair gel or a Smirnoff Twister in it, and whenever anyone reaches for it, snap that fucker in there and dispose of it.
So awesome. Assignment-break out at least 3 of these moves this weekend. If OU wins saturday I'll take at least 5 of them out on a rooftop patio or a shithole dance floor, maybe a parking lot.
Posts: 698 Rank: 18 Joined:
6/20/2007
Location:
Norristown, PA
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:53:42 AM
My heart bleeds for you.
There's not even any good racist name for white people. You have nigger and spic. Those words hurt. What do we have, honky? Cracker?
Have you ever seen a bunch of Mexicans lean out of a car and call somebody a cracker? Have you ever come home from school with a heavy heart because your teacher called you a snowbunny?
Posts: 569 Rank: 21 Joined:
12/8/2006
Location:
north babylon, NY
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:54:55 AM
I'm ready to skull fuck the business manager at the Acura dealer. She obviously blew here way to her position because she is absolutely clueless. She just called me this morning and told me she still doesn't have a copy of my license and insurance card. A) I went there two days ago and I watched the salesman make a photocopy and put it on her desk with the rest of my paperwork. B) I gave her the number to the insurance company on Monday and she was supposed to get in touch with them with the VIN number and they were going to fax her a card. I'm this fucking close to going down there and BigNicking the bitch. But knowing me, I'd probably Judas the whole thing and end up getting Toque'd and sent to jail.
