Posts: 1 Rank: 286
Member Since:
10/24/2005
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 10/3/2007
The Halos haven't recovered from '86
There is no better time to be a voracious consumer of professional sports and amateur athletics than the present.
Unless you're a Mets fan - New York City's perennial second-class citizen;
Unless you're Trevor Hoffman - arguably the game's greatest career closer who came undone like trousers in a rub and tug the final weeks of the season;
Unless you're Gary Bettman - who decided that the solution to his League's seemingly never-ending pursuit of irrelevance was to start the 11-month-...
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Posts: 1926 Rank: 6 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:40:56 PM
The following is a note I attached to my 2007 performance appraisal that I just submitted to my boss. Hand to God. She is in there cracking the fuck up right now. Enjoy.
"I think I got it all. I just know that as soon as I hit the "Send" button, I'll remember some super-human task I performed earlier this year. Oh gosh! The finality of this is so nerve-racking! I mean, seriously, my entire annual performance is going to be judged by this little document!? How can a few rows of data possibly encompass the mental, physical and spiritual energy I spent this past year trying to make this position/desk a mellifluously flowing conduit from Project Managers to the outside world?! IT CAN'T I SAY!!! Here I stand, a man on the brink of sending out a document that will be judged by my superiors, and I am rambling. Good God. Where's my medication?"
Posts: 852 Rank: 3 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Los Angeles, CA
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:54:30 PM
Does your work phone not have caller ID? I missed what happened, did you call his cell or his work number? Never forget: what's good for the goose is good for the gander (that means call his number and fuck up his life if he fucks with yours).
Posts: 852 Rank: 3 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Los Angeles, CA
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:56:11 PM
I'm into that, if only because there's a guy named Randolph at my work who is retarded and takes his pants all the way off and hangs them on the door of the stall when he drops off the kids at the pool.
Toque I like the angle, but I'm already getting work out of Oatmeal being something random and you are getting miles out of BigNick meaning murder. Let's graduate from TPP for a moment, although I will say Eliott and his dad both are great symbols for shit.
Posts: 768 Rank: 2 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Seattle, WA
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:28:08 PM
I like the list. I use Fredo in the – “you might as well go fishing with Fredo because you are dead to me” a lot.
But we need something to be the opposite of “Captain Caveman!” Right now I’m going through the cartoons from my formative years. Basically something in the form of a BOOOO! or letting them know what they said was stale.
Arthur Blank - get rid of the best backup in the league (the guy can even make the texans good), while supporting a sub-par felonious douchebag to the end.
OH, and dropping the kids off at the pool is out. I suggest we use "takin the browns to the superbowl"
Posts: 1252 Rank: 8 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:17:20 AM
no new articles and you motherfuckers can't make a comment? Stop lollygagging by the coffee/water cooler and come make me laugh.
AB - Browns to the Superbowl might be the funniest thing you've ever said, that's why i'm sure you didn't make that up.
Christine - sorry about last night i got a call from a family member (mom's side) looking for $. It appears that one of my cousin's received his 5th (no shit) DUI and bail is $5,000 my aunt (his mom) said what ever i could put in would help. I responded with "I paid his last 2 fucking bails and he put that money towards his fines i haven't gotten any back. He could get buttfucked everyday for the next 2 months for all i care" Why bail him out at this point. He'll def be going back after this shit. Irony - He passed out driving and drove into a liquor store, woke up and ran down the street to a bar, where he was subsequently arrested.
Posts: 1252 Rank: 8 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:19:22 AM
Congrats on 2 offers. How did you find time to interview for 2 jobs? I had a tough time leaving here in a suit without being obvious and i was only interviewing at 1 place.
Posts: 1517 Rank: 5 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:41:02 AM
I like the tough love (or should we say tough hate?) you;re dishing out to your cousin there. Paying for his bail would be about as useful as buying him a drink at this poiint. Five DUIs is a little excessive. How long is he going to get for that? How do you get caught four fucking times and still not know how to drive drunk? I am not surpised this guy is related to you.
Posts: 98 Rank: 48 Joined:
8/29/2007
Location:
Boston, MA
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:44:17 AM
a little desperate there BN? All right I'll bite.
So I was driving into work this morning and I saw a nun pulled over on the shoulder of the highway, her car was completely crushed and there were flames dripping from her undercarriage.
Wait. That is definitely not funny at all. Fuck! See what happens when you force it? (I think there might be something funny in the whole flaming undercarriage thing. If I can just put my finger on (or in?) it).
when somebody approaches me(this morning) and asks for a lighter when they are holding a killed cig butt. I know the vermin pulled it out of a public ashtray and I will not be an accessory to the vile behavior. It's one step below somebody asking for a cig then aking for a lighter. just die already.
PS. I dont smoke, so being bothered irritates me more
Posts: 1065 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
Denver, CO
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:54:19 AM
Well if were looking for old cartoon references, yea i'm going back to that conversation, you could always say to pull a Gargamel. I mean how pathetic was that guy, his only friend was a cat, and his whole goal in life was to capture some 12 inche blue dudes which he NEVER accomplished. Pathetic.
"Did you see Balls sneak off and call his ex at the bar like 5 times last night"
I travel almost every week M - Th. So i arrange interviews on Fridays and no one finds out. Of then there's the times when you have to be a big fucking liar too. Like next week when i'll be having an interview on Monday in Denver, and then having a company fly me to Philadelphia for an interview on Tuesday.
It's a good time being catered around the country to interview for positions where i'll pick the one that requires the least amount of work while netting me the most cash.
Posts: 259 Rank: 29 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
East Lansing, MI
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:03:11 AM
Could it be possible that Christine happens to be the foil of Gargamel? Perhaps, since she is also looking to capture herself something that's 12 inches, but just somehow fails to come short at the episode.
