In a move that surprised many in the world athletic community, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) announced on Monday the addition of sport fucking to the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. According to IOC President Jacques Rogge, the decision was made after careful review and consideration by the IOC.
In an exclusive interview with Sports Illustrated, Rogge explained the decision was made in part to increase the appeal of the Olympic Games with the younger demographic, and to spice things up. We looked at adding several different sports to the roster, including skateboarding, base-jumping, and import car drag-racing, but at the end of the day, sport fucking won out. You cant beat the sex appeal of two good-looking people having sex for the sheer sport of it. After the disappointing Games in Athens, we need to reel the advertisers back in, and we feel that hot people fucking the shit out of each other will do the trick.
Following the announcement, sport fuckers across the U.S. reacted joyfully to the news. In San Francisco, amateur sport fuckers Chad Billingsley and Trent Davidson high-fived each other while scoping out talent at the Matrix for their evening sport fucking activities. Dude, this is so fuckin awesome, Billingsley told The Phat Phree. My boys and I have been talking about how sport fucking should be in the Olympics for years. Were out here in the trenches every weekend, burning calories, and taking our exploits to consistently new heights. Hell, when I started sport fucking back in 99, I was lucky if I could last five minutes. Lately Ive been timing in at a strong hour, and thats with multiple tricks, bro.
Davidson echoed Billingsleys statement and expressed his excitement at competing against other countries. Fuck yeah Im stoked, he told reporters. I hear Sweden and Norway have some serious talent, and Ill tell ya, Im going into training right this second to get ready for the 08 Games. I have a long way to go, but ol Trent here is ready for some serious sport fucking with some of those Swedish babes. Now excuse me while I go talk to that hot blonde over by the bar.
News of the decision reaches the States
Although the IOCs decision was met with overwhelming approval in the United States, citizens of European countries expressed confusion about what sport fucking involved. Paris resident Claude Bagot told a reporter with Mondo Times, I do not understand what this sport fucking is. The Americans, they always turn everything into a sport. Is this some sort of sex game? Please explain.
Happy to help the Olympic effort
Upon hearing Bagots comments, Billingsley and Davidson chimed in with their two cents. I dont what this Faggot guy uh I mean Bagot is talking about. Of course sport fucking is a sex game. Jesus, what country was this asshole born in? Were here to tell the world that yall better get ready for the US of Fuckin A in 2008 at the Games, baby. Theres gonna be some serious sport fucking going on, and were planning on taking Gold, Silver, and Bronze. You heard it here first.
After reading the boisterous comments of the American sport fuckers, IOC President Rogge announced that all participants in sport fucking would be required to undergo drug testing prior to competing in the Games. According to Rogge, banned substances will include Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra.
News of the banned substances was greeted with anger and disbelief amongst the American sport fucking community, many of whom are believed to take the performance enhancing drugs. What the fuck dude, Billingsley told no one in particular, Im nothing more than a first-round loser without Mr. Blue. Goddamn French motherfuckers.
In response to Yikes!! Posted: 2/24/2006by: Bo Jackson stay classy san diego ANNNND Posted: 2/22/2006by: the who gatz your full of fucking shit.. SHE's HOT Posted: 9/2/2005by: Andrew Firestone what a bunch of pussies you all are - I've dated the girl on the left and we used to stay up all night blowing lines and fucking like bunnies till i dumped her ass for someone cuter. Why? Because i can. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Those Three Blondes Posted: 8/29/2005by: Marilyn Damn, two of those chicks are seriously ugly. I hope they aren't your friends or sisters. Could you just crop the left 2/3 of the photo? Charlie Posted: 8/25/2005by: matt That was fucking hilarious. Do they let ugly people in heaven? It is a selfish question.
That Julia Stiles mask comment had me pissing Nice work assholes... Posted: 8/25/2005by: Charlie The girl in the middle, who so desperately tried to distract you from her Minnie Driver/Manhole Cover face by showing her cleavage and dipping her face in house paint, was just forwarded this article, and then she killed herself.
I hope you are all very proud. Good Stuff Posted: 8/25/2005by: Chief Great article, but I agree, the girl in the middle looks like she is wearing a Julia Stiles mask made out of toilet paper, glue and make-up... WTF Posted: 8/25/2005by: Beau Why do girls insist on pressing their faces together in pictures? Maybe the outsiders know their friend in the middle is fugly and want to disguise this buy creating one large face. Take a look at every picture of chicks hanging out at a bar and you will see their domes magnetized together.
P.S. if guys are doing this ,they are asking for a beat down. On books and covers. Posted: 8/25/2005by: Howard Brown The one in the middle is without a doubt the best lay among the three.
Youth! Wasted on the young and clueless! you can take the ho on the left Posted: 8/25/2005by: yuh and i'll take the ho on the right.......shes probably a lot less stuck up and a lot better in the sack.....
but ugh, that picture is just ruined by the gremlin in the middle...she looks like the evil monkey in chris griffens closet............
