Basketball legend Bill Walton is a man of many faces and many, many comments.
Bill the Lover Love him or hate him, Walton is currently the most entertaining NBA analyst around. As an NBA fan, there is not another announcer that will have you grabbing for the remote to turn up the volume so you can hear what is being said. Walton will leave you scratching your head saying, did he just say that? Sometimes when Bill is at peace with the world and in love with basketball, he drops ridiculous praise on some players who do not deserve it. Here are some examples of Bill the Lover:
"The only man who can stop Cliff Robinson is Cliff Robinson. The man is unstoppable even at 38."
"He's everywhere! Rebounds, assists... Shawn Bradley is looking like Hakeem Olajuwon!"
Danny Ferry is just a tremendous player...
"If Anthony Johnson ever gets a jumper, whos going to stop him?
"Where would the Clippers be without Sean Rooks?"
"Is there a better shot blocker than Vlade Divac?"
Cliff Robinson? Anthony Johnson? Sean Rooks? Are you kidding me? Easy Bill... and yes there are plenty of better shot blockers in the NBA than heater lover Vlade Divac.
Bill the Hater The reason we hate Bill Walton the commentator, is the same reason we love Bill Walton the commentator; he speaks his mind. It can sometimes be difficult to distinguish his insane banter and opinions from his dry, sarcastic wit, but thats why Walton is a winner as an entertainer. He is always overstating things asking rhetorical questions and taking the NBAs new generation of 'me first' players to task. Check out some of these Walton gems about Rasheed Wallace (who he particularly seems to dislike because he disgraced Bills beloved Trailblazers) from Bill the Hater:
Rasheed Wallace is putting his fingers over his lips to silence the crowd like he actually brought his game tonight to tell them to be quiet!"
"Before Rasheed Wallace becomes a star in the NBA, he is going to have to grow up. He seems to think the world is against him. Players like Rasheed Wallace act like its their birthright to be given millions of dollars and treated like kings. Its embarrassing for those of us who have spent their lives in the NBA to see such antagonistic, ungrateful, resentful and obnoxious behavior. This guy has just got to wake up. Most people get it eventually, but Wallace is taking his time about it."
"I think there's a pretty good chance Rasheed Wallace will set the mark for most technicals tonight will they stop the game and present him with the ball?"
What is with the spot of white hair on the back of 'Sheed's head. It's creepy.
Critical Bill Walton is a basketball purist. He does not care for a brand of basketball absent of fundamentals and intelligent play. He is willing to criticize any player when they are not playing basketball the way it was meant to be played. Considering he learned the game from one of the most respected coaches of all time the Wizard of Westwood, John Wooden, Waltons takes are rooted in the deepest of basketball knowledge, but with that 1960s hippy flair that we know and love. Here are some more beauties from Waltons never ending arsenal. These shots are compliments of Critical Bill:
"Eddie Griffin has put up the two worst shots in the history of the Rockets franchise here tonight."
A BEAUTIFUL pass by Tony Parker off the front of the rim.
"Dale Davis, pick one pivot foot........PLEASE!"
"This is a game of skill Shawn Bradley."
"Raef Lafrentz and Shawn Bradley should start considering new careers."
"Lindsay Hunter is making Devean George look like John Stockton."
Eddie Griffin. Shawn Bradley. Raef LaFrentz. Ouch. Walton is not afraid to be critical of the game itself, either. Check out these more general critiques, also from Critical Bill:
"Can someone PLEASE make a shot."
HORRENDOUS defense!"
"That may be the worst pass in the history of western civilization."
"They called that a foul? Thats not a foul. This is the playoffs, Let em play..."
Get a REBOUND...
"What was he thinking? Was he thinking anything at all?
"He was wondering how many steps he could take before they would call traveling."
"What is the NBA record for most turnovers in one trip up the court?"
"What is the NBA record for having shots blocked in the first six minutes of a game?"
Billy Details Sometimes Walton becomes overly critical of some minute part of the game. This quote is offered by Billy Details:
"The art of tossing up the jump ball has really declined. These officials need to spend more time practicing in the off-season."
Bill the 'Blazer.
Has anyone honestly ever cared about the jump ball(s) at a NBA game. Cmon Walt.
Bill the Big Man As a former post player for the UCLA Bruins, Portland Trailblazers, and Boston Celtics, Walton will always have love for the game down on the blocks. Walton also routinely gives props to any big man playing with particular efficiency, effectiveness, or passion. The following praise comes from Bill the Big Man:
" I want to see Ben Wallace come out with war paint on his face."
"Throw it down Mark Madsen Throw it down!"
"Send it back Mehmet Okur Send it back!
"Shaq makes everyone else in the league look like Michel Tafoya."
Throw it down big man!
Michel Tafoya? That's ridiculous!
Billy the Comedian Whether he is being sarcastic or just getting up in someones kitchen, Walton can be hilarious. He could be the white skinned, almost seven foot, red haired Chris Rock! Or not. These takes come from Billy the Comedian:
"Piatkowski is killing Szczerbiak....Oh, what a Scrabble game that would be!"
"Karl Malone has spent more time in a gym, than Corey Magette has been alive."
"The Clippers are shooting a solid 4 for 14 from three point land."
"Chris Childs let the opportunity of having the best job in the world, being Jason Kidds backup, go away because he couldnt get himself away from the buffet table."
"Tractor Traylor is treating this game like a buffet line!"
Sir William of Walton at his comedic best but wait there's more (in regard to this year's Atlanta Hawks team)!
"Atlanta needs all 13 lottery picks."
Ha... and Cavaliers and Lakers fans are upset.
My Dad, Bill Walton Waltons son Luke was a decent college player at the University of Arizona. In the mold of too good to be true, Luke was drafted by the Los Angeles Lakers. Together the Waltons attempted to rule the NBA galaxy as father and son, but Lukes career in the league is getting off to a slow start. Unfortunately for Luke, he doesnt have his dads game, but he does have his health. Now from time to time, Bill is faced with the ugly reality of having to call his sons games. Trying desperately not to sound like a homer, the following is from My Dad, Bill Walton:
John Saunders: What advice would you give to Luke to have a successful NBA career?
Bill Walton: Pass it to Shaq.
Commentating another game:
Commentator: " and heres Luke Walton Bill you know a little something about him"
Bill Walton: "Yes hes a 6'8 small forward from San Diego"
Jesus H. Crist Bill. We all know he's your son. Acknowledge the kid's existence, so he doesn't get a complex.
Bill and Larry In perhaps his greatest commentary ever, Walton was working the 1999 NBA Finals between the New York Knickerbockers and the San Antonio Spurs, when, responding to a Larry Johnson quote that the Knicks had "a lot of rebellious slaves" on their team, he decided to drop this bomb during the game on the power forward
"What a pathetic play from a pathetic human being."
To which Johnson later responded
"This is the same Bill Walton that was at UCLA smoking pot ... and if that's the way Bill feels, that's fine."
Classic Walton. Keep on keepin on Mr. Walton. You have at least two fans. Kevin Garnett and I.
Kevin Garnett on Bill Waltons playing days and broadcasting style: Old Bill was one of the greatest centers ever, but have you seen those wild pictures? He had that frizzy, long, red hair with headbands and stuff. Now look at him, all straight, proper, and clean cut; but I will tell you, Bills commentary can sometimes be as wicked as his outlet passes used to be.
Did I forget any of your favorite Waltonisms post em.
Suns/Clippers Game 6 Posted: 5/18/2006by: Andrew Walton is announcing and always has me on the edge of my seat when he says something. I finally got the idea to write some of the things he says down and here is what I got from the first half:
"Steve Nash, who is pretty much the same person as Bill Russell..."
"This is the kind of play that sends the Clipper nation into delirious ecstasy."
Classic Bill, as much as he talks out of his ass, I just love him. Walton Defends the Weak Posted: 5/16/2006by: Dave During a playoff game a few years back, after the Maverick's had already been ousted, then coach Don Nelson was sitting courtisde with his wife Joy. Joy had just started undergoing chemotherapy for her recently diagnosed cancer so, of course, Jim Gray thought it would be an appropriate subject to explore during an impromptu courtside interview. It was mortifying for the Nelson family. When they threw it back to Walton he said, "Poor Don and Joy Nelson, subjected to the torment of Jim Gray." Throwing your own colleague under the bus on national television, because he deserved it. AMAZING! Dramatic Bill Posted: 5/2/2006by: Trevor In reference to the Pistons, carrying a 25-4 record: "The Pistons are in a world of hurt right now. Their point differential is slipping and will undoubtedly fall below 7 in the near future. They're only on a one-game win streak and remember, they ALMOST lost to the Suns on the road." N'Dong, Clippers Center Posted: 4/21/2006by: Loring Bill Walton just said (Clips vs Memphis) about center Boniface N'dong.
"N'dong looks a little stiff."
What was Bill looking at? Walton kicks ass Posted: 4/12/2006by: Devean My favorite was when Walton would do games that Shawn Bradley was playing in... Bradley would get an offensive rebound and softly put in the put-back, and Walton would exclaim "Shawn Bradley... you can only hope to contain him". Later, Bradley grabs a loose ball and passes to a wide open teammate under the basket to made a wide open dunk, and Walton's all "Shawn Bradley, dropping dimes." During the Lakers 3-peat run, he's always make inane comments like "Devean George may be the best player in the NBA when it comes to passing it into the post" and my favorite: "Robert Horry may be the best inbound passer in the history of the League". I think Walton makes more sense and is less annoying when you watch him stoned, by the way. But I'm sure that is just a coincidence. Walton gay? Posted: 3/21/2006by: Aleksandr Napoleon Is Bill Walton gay? Becuase I believe he once described the Houston Rockets as a "beautiful basketball team." I don't know about anyone else, but I think its a little wierd to describe NBA teams as "beautiful." Walton on the Patriot Act Posted: 3/4/2006by: TD At the Wiz/76'ers game, Bill Walton to Brent Cheeseburger, who disagreed with him on whether or not Iverson should be invited to play on the national team:
"There's no Patriot Act at ESPN. If everyone thinks the same, no one thinks."
Gotta love Bill's politics! best article ever Posted: 3/1/2006by: Sanjay One of my favorite Walton quotes I can remember is where he calls Steve "MVP" Nash the most unathletic player in the world.
This is the best article ever. I wanted him to shut up so much I made a shirt for him. (www.thelenincloset.com)
Calvin Cato Posted: 2/8/2006by: Calvin Cato One game Calvin Cato came into the game and missed a shot and bill simply said.
"Calvin Cato is terrible"
And that was it. reanin Posted: 2/2/2006by: S MAN the score of the game was about 6-4 and they were about 1 min into the first. kobe goes to the foul line and bill walton says this:
"life is like a jumpshot ... once the ball leaves your hands... ther is nothing you can do about it"
