Posts: 2 Rank: 187
Member Since:
10/23/2005
Location:
Sandusky, OH
Posted: 10/2/2007
Lookin' good, Scott.
Dear NFL Fans,
The NFL season has barely gotten underway, yet all voting has been halted for the NFL's Most Awesome-Looking Player Award. Experts and fans have agreed that the race would be too one-sided and that any further running of the contest would only insult humanity and needlessly spread violence throughout America. The unanimous champion of looking awesome this year in the National Football League is Scott Player, a veteran punter who signed with the Cleveland Browns only two weeks...
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All i could imagine Player's responses with, is that high pitched Cobra Commander voice from the cartoon; followed by the bat-shit crazy howard dean war cry.
Great read...I laughed out loud at how expansive the magnitude of his awesomeness is.
Posts: 254 Rank: 28 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
East Lansing, MI
Posted: 10/2/2007 10:53:27 AM
Right before he unleashes his punt of fury, he screams a shriek of pure evil. This, added with his one bar helmet, dapper 'stache and fine phat ass, makes the defensive line laugh their ass, off, resulting in a minimal return.
Posts: 231 Rank: 29 Joined:
5/31/2007
Location:
Gilbert, AZ
Posted: 10/2/2007 11:04:07 AM
I wonder if Scott Player's son has a deep calling to the "art" of drifting.
The only way he could be cooler is if he changed the name on his jersey to "Playa".
Dude kinda looks like he could have been one of the characters chasing the runners in "The Running Man". Instead of slapping explosive hockey pucks or riding motorcycles or dune buggies, Scott Player would punt explosive footballs and then half ass-ed-ly toss his body at the legs of the runner's and try to trip them up. Maybe they'd toss a jet pack on him as well just for shits and giggles.
Posts: 2748 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 10/2/2007 11:16:25 AM
Anything about this guy or anything. All I know is that I laughed outloud several times at his own "quotes". Also, brain herpes was pretty damn great too. Thanks Juan.
Posts: 552 Rank: 22 Joined:
12/8/2006
Location:
north babylon, NY
Posted: 10/2/2007 11:20:06 AM
Scott Player doesn't punt the ball. The ball punts it self out of fear of Scott Player.
Scott Player's left leg was amputated as a child, but his penis is so large that he uses it as a replacement. Scott Player's penis leg can kick the ball clear out of the stadium, which is why he kicks righty.
Scott Player once punted a ball, 90 yards, fielded it on the fly, and returned it 109 yards for a touchdown against his own team, just because he's Scott Player.
Pic 2 caption: "Can you believe this man is a professional athlete?"
Also, The Rock's movie opened at #1 this weekend. Jesus Fucking Christ.
"One man, one vote-now is that really real? The name of our game is let's make a deal. We all have our problems, the haves and the have nots, but the ones that make me listen pay for 30 second spots!"
Posts: 2748 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 10/2/2007 11:26:06 AM
Its Juan day! of course. He could write the word poop over and over and I would give it a 5 and then play with myself in the bathroom until lunch. What can I say? love is love.
you kissed elliot's ass, but he probably thinks you're being genuine, not completely and utterly over the top sarcastic.
Posts: 2748 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 10/2/2007 11:40:59 AM
I'm miserable from it. But at least this one is funny no matter what and isn't really about sports. I didn't even read the article from yesterday. and I promised I wouldn't talk about gross female problems anymore so I just have to sit here and take it.
Also, if my footloose caption was bad, brikz's caption was like fucking hiroshima. but because he refers to my pussy, everyone will love it and laugh. this is such a shitty society.
Posts: 1899 Rank: 6 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 10/2/2007 11:46:45 AM
If anyone remembers, I had to give a tour of the office to our new employee a few weeks back. Turns out he is a major homo. Whatever. Good for him. So I am in the archive room just a minute ago, looking for a brochure and he comes in there and starts chatting me up. Him - "How wasth your weekend Josthhh?" Me - "Good. Yours? Him - "Thoooo thuper. I went to 11 (gay club) witttthhhh thome friendthhhh of mine and then we went to an Sthh&M party. You thould come out with usth thome time." Me - "Uhhh, no. That's cool. I'm good."
Him - *stares at my fucking crotch* "Heheh, I beth you are."
I swear to God, my tiny penis retracted into my stomach so far that I am no longer hungry. Fuck.
Posts: 2748 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 10/2/2007 12:01:51 PM
Let's just say for once that youy lie was true. that means that there is a gay club called 11. that's hysterical. it also means that you look so gay, that the new fag at work automatically invited you out with him. good story.
Brikz- God didn't make me. I made me. and more and more I'm realizing that I made myself extremely similar to this lane bryant model. my arms aren't that big, but everything else is pretty to scale.
Brikz. While your preferences are becoming more and more prevalent in our society these days, I, like many other men, still prefer women. They are designed in a superior manner, with great lines, interesting and entertaining features, and the single best thing god ever made.
Enjoy the hairy ass and balls in your face though Brikzy
Posts: 1899 Rank: 6 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 10/2/2007 12:07:24 PM
Hand to God, my story is 100% true. I can't even begin to fathom why a fag would think I am attractive. I overweight, balding, I have a crooked lip, my ass is flat, and I don't have a bulge in my crotch. Maybe it's my tits that he likes. He could be bi.
