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You searched for : "Matt Shirley" in names in all sections occurring on or before 10/23/2007

18 matches found.

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1) The Charity Case
by: Matt Shirley Posted: 5/15/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 4.22 Viewed: 1,771 Emailed: 10 Comments: 28
...The Situation: You and your girlfriend have been dating for a few years and everything seems to be going just swell. Then suddenly she tells you that she needs some time and space to figure things out because she doesn’t know how she feels. You find out later that this “time” is time enough to blow ......
2) It's Not My Fault: A Letter From Tequila
by: Matt Shirley Posted: 9/7/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 4.22 Viewed: 1,223 Emailed: 61 Comments: 14
...Dear Drunkard, Hi, I hope your summer is going well. I know you are probably a little drunk right now, but try to stay with me. This is going to be hard for us both, but I wanted to write this little note in order to tell you that it’s not my fault. You blame me for many things. You told all of you......
3) Survivor: Stereotypes
by: Matt Shirley Posted: 9/21/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 4.21 Viewed: 1,461 Emailed: 16 Comments: 12
...Survivor is a show for old white people. I know this because it is on CBS and every show on this network is for old white people. This year, the show aims to entertain these old white people by pitting four different racial groups in contests of strength, wit, and endurance. A more contrived and......
4) Deal Me Out
by: Matt Shirley Posted: 5/31/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 4.13 Viewed: 1,254 Emailed: 4 Comments: 15
..."Deal or No Deal" is a game show that personifies the American way of life—the pursuit of vast amounts of unearned money, and the broken dreams of grandeur that follow. The show is really about two things. First, it is about one person using his/her astoundingly bad judgment in order to make even wo......
5) Decoding American Breakup Strategy
by: Matt Shirley Posted: 4/4/07 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 4.13 Viewed: 9,192 Emailed: 13 Comments: 103
...Breaking up is certainly not something one should look forward to, but it does give the dumper the chance to flex his or her creative muscle in order formulate an airtight and plausible case that will not cause the dumpee to exercise his or her nasolacrimal ducts excessively. In other words, the du......
6) boycott capitalization
by: Matt Shirley Posted: 5/10/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 4.09 Viewed: 2,238 Emailed: 17 Comments: 295
...not reflect the views or opinions of matt shirley the writer—i don’t really think the mets are members of the kkk—nor does it mean anything whatsoever.. now i don’t think that the ku klux klan is that cool, so why should it be capitalized? and the new york mets are probably even worse, yet they s......
7) The Wedding Ten Commandments
by: Matt Shirley Posted: 6/16/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 4.02 Viewed: 1,377 Emailed: 34 Comments: 37
...Ahh, summer wedding season—the smell of freshly mown grass in the air as I chauffer another friend into the ranks of adulthood and interminable boringness. Is there really anything better? Nothing comes to mind. Unless you count summer orgy season, but that only comes once every 30 years and you hav......
8) Anatomy of a Basketball Locker Room
by: Matt Shirley Posted: 12/13/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 3.95 Viewed: 7,025 Emailed: 7 Comments: 23
...Since my bones are longer than the average human's, and my high school coach was good with bribes, I was given the opportunity to play basketball in one of the shittiest Division 1 programs in all of the college ranks. If that isn't a ringing endorsement for Colgate Raider hoops, I don't know what ......
9) The Double Consonant Rule
by: Matt Shirley Posted: 5/18/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 3.87 Viewed: 1,193 Emailed: 3 Comments: 57
...This is going to make me seem like an absolute grammar nazi, but at this point I don’t care. I am simply tired of reading sentences written by coherent adults in which they mean something, but apparently don’t have a grasp of a simple concept in the English language, and write something totally diff......
10) Firewalls Lead to Decreased Productivity
by: Matt Shirley Posted: 9/27/07 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 3.71 Viewed: 12,004 Emailed: 8 Comments: 304
...find a way to not do work.Sincerely, Matt Shirley* If you didn't catch the irony here, I will explain it to you: See, this piece is to appear on thephatphree.com. And in this piece, I argue that thephatphree.com is not, in fact, violent whatsoever. But then, keeping in mind that this exact piece is......
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