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You searched for : "Eli Brackenbury" in names in all sections occurring on or before 12/5/2008

6 matches found.

RESULTS
1) My Black and Decker Love
by: Eli Brackenbury Posted: 9/6/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 4.04 Viewed: 1,202 Emailed: 4 Comments: 6
...Growing up, my Dad used to work with wood all the time. He built tables, chairs, desks; basically, if it was made out of wood, my Dad could build it. He also had a kick-ass collection of Playboy centerfolds from the 1970’s. As a young, virile male, working with tools and checking out Jumanji bush w......
2) Give Me Back My Rib
by: Eli Brackenbury Posted: 8/16/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 3.75 Viewed: 984 Emailed: 3 Comments: 8
...Dear God,I want my rib back. So, feel free to get that to me whenever you can, because you wasted it. What were you thinking? Fifteen minutes after creation, I had not even healed yet from my ribectomy, and that bitch was eating the forbidden fruit. Why did you give me someone who doesn’t listen? I......
3) Just Bleed and Shut Up Already
by: Eli Brackenbury Posted: 9/1/06 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 3.61 Viewed: 1,827 Emailed: 11 Comments: 30
...I am tired of the term PMS; a term, in my opinion, that allows women to be fucked in the head for a few days a month. We all get fucked up on occasion, but women get away with it without recourse because it is a syndrome. You know what? So is Down’s! Yet, they have special classrooms for retards. Ma......
4) To The Makers of Cialis
by: Eli Brackenbury Posted: 11/6/08 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 3.27 Viewed: 7,215 Emailed: 17 Comments: 1
...Dear Makers of Cialis,I have a boner.Let me rephrase that. Over the past day and a half I have had several throbbing stiffies that have lasted just under the 4-hour target mark for calling my physician. I just wanted to send this quick note that I think your product sucks balls, no pun intended.Oh, ......
5) Fuck Your Petition
by: Eli Brackenbury Posted: 5/15/07 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 3.22 Viewed: 3,787 Emailed: 0 Comments: 12
...My neighbors, transplants from California, are retired. I think they are retired anyway. I never really asked. If I did, that implies that I care about them and what they do. I don't like people who nose themselves into my personal business. I despise that. So when a neighbor does it, I truly ......
6) My Date with a Walrus
by: Eli Brackenbury Posted: 6/5/07 Search Rank: n/a
Rating: 3.18 Viewed: 3,321 Emailed: 0 Comments: 10
...Hey there. My name is….whoa! No, sorry, my name is not whoa, I just was shocked at how….well, to be honest you look nothing like your photo. Two years old? Amazing how that tooth just kind of jutted out in 24 months. Huh? Oh nothing. Say, can we maybe go over here in the corne......

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