With Barry Bonds pursuit of Babe Ruth for second place on the all-time home run record in full swing (see what I did there?), there have been incessant comparisons made of older generations' athletes to current athletes. Im here to set the record straight: there is no comparison.
Dont get me wrong; I too long for the days when a star athlete could go on a decent coke binge or show up to a playoff game still puking up boilermakers from the night before, without the media or public making a peep. Those days were great. Men were men, no argument there. However, when I hear todays talking (bald) heads touting their generations athletic superiority to todays, I have the same reaction as if a monkey or toddler showed me a peeled banana. I smile and humor them, knowing in their mind theyve accomplished something and are proud of it, but I cannot take them seriously.
Major League Baseball is a complete joke, not a sport, and any rational adult can see that. However, executive management ineptness and a lack of fundamental competition aside, I will say that players from the Americas pastime era of baseball have nothing on the players of today.
Who gives a shit if Bonds passes Ruth? So Bonds is pumped full of horse roids and can barely keep his enormous head from tipping over. Ruth played against a bunch of white farm boys, weight rooms didnt exist, and Im willing to bet upwards of $40 that fat fuck couldnt find the Dominican Republic on a map if it were circled with hot sauce and melted queso. Factor in the 32 pitchers per game hitters face nowadays; starter, middle relief, set up man, pre closer, closer, post closer, etc. and Ruth is John Kruk. He did it on hot dogs and beer too.
bom-chick-a-bom-bom
How about football? Inevitably, whenever a discussion of how the old hard nosed, tough guys from years ago would fare in the present NFL, the point of conversation always turns to how football is a team game and nobody did it better than the 72 Dolphins; the only team to go undefeated in NFL history. You know, the guys we see shots of every year popping champagne bottles as the last undefeated team of the season loses and they look like they actually believe they could get it done in the current NFL?
Well, not only did they just beat two opponents with a winning record, but anytime your star player is a white running back with a porn stache, youre not relevant in todays sporting climate. Except, maybe Corvette racing. The Dolphins going undefeated before the era of free agency is equivalent to the Yankees winning championships in todays salary cap-free baseball; its just not all that impressive. Individually, todays NFL features 275 lb men with six pack abs, running 40 yard dashes in 4.4 seconds. Yesterdays NFL featured 225 lb men who could drink a six pack in 40 seconds. While equally impressive, unfortunately the latter does not translate to athletic greatness.
he's still a pussy
In the NBA the gap between yesteryear and today is even more pronounced. Sure, the current professional basketball player is an overpaid crybaby who thinks the rules of society dont apply to him. Sure, if they werent playing basketball, theyd be selling plasma to cop a bag of trees. Sure, the average player has seven kids with six different women. But to say that some guy in a pair of grape smugglers who can dribble between his legs would today be anything more than the token white guy at the end of the bench to appease corporate America is ludicrous. During the Sydney Olympics, Vince Carter jumped over seven feet, two inch Frederic Weiss and dunked the ball. If he had done that fifty years ago, hed have been burned at the stake.
The fact is, the worst player in the current NBA would have been a perennial All Star back in the day. Same goes for just about any sport, except golf, where 30 year old men, senior citizens and teenage girls are capable of shooting the same score.
Todays athletes are bigger, stronger, faster, and that absolutely translates to better. Its simple evolution, get on board or move to Pennsylvania Dutch country.
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