The cavalcade of mediocrity that is the National League continued unabated in the first half of the 2006 season. Theres a good chance only one team, the Mets, will break 90 wins. The Cardinals are in first place in the Central, but only because nobody else in the division wants to step up and take them. The West is a slow-motion scramble. There has been nothing but suck in Chicago, Pittsburgh, and Washington. The AL dominated the NL in interleague play, and for the ninth straight year, the NL failed to win the All-Star Game.
Top 9 NL Happenings So Far in Order of General Interesting-Ness . 9. The beautiful hell that is the North Side. A five-game losing streak, two six-game losing streaks, and a seven-game losing streak. Derrek Lee on the shelf. The worst offense in the NL in pretty much every category. The White Sox rolling merrily along on the South Side. The beer-swilling, hacky sack-playing fans of the Cubs are years away from even losing in the playoffs again. Same old, same old.
8. All right, Pittsburgh! The last team in MLB to win a game, the holder of last place in the NL Central since Opening Day, the team playing .333 baseball in the weaker league, and the recipient of a series sweep smackdown at the hands of Kansas City in June; the Pirates have now supplanted the Royales as Baseballs Worst Franchise.
7. Werent the Phillies supposed to be good? They almost played their way right into October last year, and although they lost Jim Thome, they also gained Aaron Rowand and the full-time services of Ryan Howard. They were 32-27 on June 7. Then they lost 20 of 26. Yet Charlie Manuel retains his job (?)
6. Jason Grimsley. Grimsley- not related to 70s pitcher Ross Scuz Grimsley- will be known in history for two things: stealing a possibly-corked bat from an opposing clubhouse, and being the Curt Flood of the human growth hormone scandal.
5. The fall of the Braves. It had to happen sometime. But the last time Atlanta finished out of the postseason was during George Bush Sr.s Presidency. So no matter how ineffectual were their last few division winners, its still a little bit of a surprise that someone has finally assassinated the last heirs of Atlantas divisional dynasty.
4. Brandon Fucking Phillips. The Cleveland Indians, with no middle infield prospects of note and Ronnie Belliard in a contract year, sent Phillips to the Reds for nothing after spring training. Why? Why, Eric Wedge didnt wike him. Phillips got a chance to play in Cincinnati and not only is fielding the way hes reputed to, and running the way hes reputed to (16-for-17 on steal attempts), but is hitting a whole lot better than reputed to (.304 with 44 RBIs and a .789 OPS). And thanks in part to Phillips, the Reds are better than reputed, too.
3. The Marlins. With an 11-31 record on May 21, the 15 million-dollar Marlins looked every bit like a bargain-basement basket case. After they went 24-10 in the next month, they looked like everyones dark horse pick for 08. Under almost the worst possible competitive conditions- a football stadium in a field; fan indifference; by far the most meager payroll in the game- they do some amazing shit down there in unincorporated Dade County.
2. Dodgers Rookies: Catcher Russell Martin (.805 OPS, 35 RBIs); outfielder Matt Kemp (7 home runs, .822 OPS); outfielder Andre Ethier (.347 BA, 32 RBIs, and relief pitcher Jonathon Broxton (3.47 ERA in 31 appearances) have helped the Dodgers plant themselves right in the middle of the West race
1. Hey, theres one good team in this league! And that team is the New York Mets, the only National League team with more than 50 wins at the Break (there are four in the American League). With their 12-game lead in the East, with Atlanta and Philadelphia having fallen off the edge of the planet, all the Mets have to do down the stretch is stay sharp and clear their throats for the horselaughs theyll have at the expense of the playoff no-show Yankees.
Best Post: Im not going to reprint it, but lo cals quick-and-dirty NL West preview on Page 4 of the comments section puts mine to shame.
Worst Post: There isnt one. Were all winners! Unlike the National League.
I was at a country fair a few weeks ago. I got to observe a woman who tried to guess within 2 years your age or within 4 pounds your weight or within 2 months your birthday. I watched as she got ten wrong consecutively. Now granted, the prize you win if she guesses wrong is not worth the three bucks you paid to have her guess, but here is a lady who gets paid to guess this stuff. Sure she doesnt make much, and if she were any good at the clairvoyance game shed probably be able to demand some real money.
My point, I suppose, is that I too suck at the guessing game. Since I get paid nothing I shouldnt have to answer to the minions, er readers. But, fuck it, if youre still upset with me Ill email you a picture of the rubber chicken I won when the carnie lady guessed I was thirty (Im 27).
New York Baseball Mets
Right: The Mets are tired of playing second banana in New York and are willing to spend money to win. The lead-in for the sports page in NY is the Mets. Things are changing in New York, and this little baseball fan couldnt be happier.
Wrong: There are just too many ifs with this team. Get ready for another (sigh) summer of discontent, Mets fans! Ill emphasize this point several times: They did everything right for the first half of the season. There is still another half left, but regardless, when this team gets to the play-offs the fear should set in that there are at least five better teams in the American League.
Philadelphia Phillies
Right: Just about everything: They have no ace, Chase Utley will be an All-Star, good hitting club, but no pitching to compete.
Who cares about any of the other teams in the NL East? Philly is in second trailing the Mets by 12 games. I suppose anything is possible the Mets are beatable and they really dont have a track record so I suppose they could be caught.
Wrong: Jimmy Rollins will hit .330. That aint happening. You were right, I was wrong. Youre smart and Im dumb. You are good looking; Im not very attractive at all
Atlanta Braves
Right: Expect Edgar Renteria to bounce back year after a God-awful year in Bostonhes better suited for the National League and will thrive in Atlanta where he can concentrate on baseball while avoiding Atlantas apathetic baseball media spotlight, unlike the fanatical media heat-lamp he got cooked under in Boston Id say we nailed that one.
Wrong: Everything else. I havent decided whether to dig a deeper hole and predict a great comeback, or suck it up and admit being dead wrong with the Braves. I probably won't write an end of the year re-cap, so yes; Atlanta will come back from being 13 games down proving me right. And if that happens I will write a re-cap. Maybe get hired at the country fair guessing people's weight too - cause if you are right, it's all profit baby!
Florida Marlins
Still, nobody cares about this team. They are out 13.5 games. Sounds about right. Next.
Washington Nationals
Soriano had a great first half and earned a starting role on the NL all-star roster. So theres that. Id hate to be a beat writer for this team or the Marlins. Thank god I dont have any talent.
I'm off to explore that carnie lady idea, see if there is an article in there. My prediction is yes.
First off, I'd like to thank Phil Garner for not putting Scott Rolen in to play 3rd base in the 9th inning of the All-Star game. Scott Ballgame is in there and he gets the groundball that Miggy C. missed 9 out of 10 time. I guarantee it.
Way to cost the NL home field advantage come October, Capt. Moustache. God, I hate the fucking Astros. If I were to compare the two leagues to musical acts now, I would say the AL is Led Zeppelin circa 1970 (un-fucking-beatable) and the NL is Rob Pilatus from Milli Vanilli (not only bad, but also dead.)
Bottom line: The National League is fucking horrible.
On to the NL Central then!
St Louis Cardinals
The Cardinals went 3-13 between June 20th and July 6th. And they are still ahead of the rest of their division by at least four games. That is how bad the NL is.
Between their horrendous starting pitching, craptacular bullpen, Jim Edmonds aging 27 years during the off-season, and an apparent robot of some sort (Juan Encarnacion) starting in right field, it is amazing that the Cardinals were able to muster together 48 wins before the All Star break.
Of course, Amazing is also the middle name of Albert Pujols, so that kind of makes sense (not really. His middle name is actually Albert!) Despite missing over two weeks of action, Pujols has still cranked out 29 home runs and driven in 76 runs. Just off the top of my head, I can think of at least ten wins this season which he is solely responsible for. Do not be surprised by any more heroics Pujols pulls off. At this point, El Hombre could find the cure for cancer in between innings and I wouldnt be shocked.
The Cardinals, while not a great team, should continue to keep chugging along and will probably win the Central by virtual default. What happens after that, Im really not sure I doubt it will be pretty, though. If the Cards win a World Series the way they are comprised right now, I will eat my hat.
Biggest First Half Surprise: Scott Rolens .331 Batting Average. Sure, hes about 15 pounds lighter (cough steroids cough) but Scotty Ballgame is back on track.
Biggest First Half Bust: Mark Mulders 6.09 Earned Run Average. Mulder has been about as effective as random hobo being thrown out on the mound, and a heck of a lot more expensive.
Cincinnati Reds
In the Preseason preview, I wrote: this team is going to score a lot of runs However, they are also going to give up a lot of runs. I was right on the first part of that (as was every other person) and completely and totally wrong on the second part (again, so was everyone else.)
Aaron Harang and Bronson Arroyo have combined for 18 wins, 318 Ks, and an ERA in the mid 3.00s. I did not see that coming. Of course, Arroyos transformation into an ace is probably a good example of the quality of play in the NL, but lets let the little crooner have his moment in the sun, no?
Biggest First Half Surprise: Brandon Phillips. Where the hell did he come from?
Biggest First Half Bust: Esteban Yans continued ability to be a Major Leaguer. Who keeps signing him and why?
This Man Steals Money
Milwaukee Brewers
All you need to know about the Brewers in three quick bullet points: Carlos Lee is flat out sick (.290/26/73) Chris Capuano gets my vote for the best starter in the NL. (10 Ws/112 Ks/3.21 ERA) Derrick Turnbow is not an attractive man. Heck of a closer, though. (23 Svs)
Biggest First Half Surprise: Bill Halls 17 home runs (coughHgH cough) Biggest First Half Bust: Prince Fielder failing to win Nathans hot dog eating contest.
Houston Astros
I would love to count the Astros out of the postseason race right now, but it seems like every year they have some sort of remarkable second half turnaround and make a push to play some cold baseball in October (is there anything better than going to a baseball game when its 45 degrees out late in October? No No there is not. Another reason to hate domes.)
If the Stros want to get back on track, they are going to have to figure out just who in the hell is going to close their games out, because Brad Lidge is less then effective this year. In fact, he kind of stinks. Yep Stinky.
And Houston can be thankful that they have Lance Berkman (.317/24/79) in the lineup because with Morgan Ensberg having a good case of the cold bat, the Stros lineup is less than intimidating. How they have 43 wins right now is beyond me. Phil Garners mustache must really be motivating these boys to play their asses off.
As always, Im sure Houston will find a way to make it interesting down the stretch. Also, there will still be a god damn hill in the outfield.
Biggest First Half Surprise: The fact that I was able to write a few paragraphs about the Astros and not mention Roger Clemens. If I worked for ESPN, I would be fired for that (I probably wouldnt have a soul, either.)
Biggest First Half Bust: Take your pick: Andy Pettitte, Brad Lidge, Wandy Rodriguez, or Taylor Buchholz.
Chicago Cubs
For the Cubs first three months of 2006, if it could possibly go wrong, it did:
Kerry Wood and Mark Prior still have not made it back to the mound effectively. Derrek Lee got hurt. Greg Maddux is 117 years old. Aramis Ramirez forgot how to hit. Juan Pierre wasnt nearly as good as advertised.
One would think that things possibly could not get any worse. Wrong. If the Chicago Cubs are involved, it can always get worse.
Biggest First Half Surprise: The fact that Cubs fans have not yet murdered General Manager Jim Hendry and Manager Dusty Baker.
Biggest First Half Bust: Mark Prior is still being sold by the organization as if he was an ace, even though he is 0-4 with a 7.71 ERA.
Pittsburgh Pirates
The Pirates are honestly the worst baseball team I have ever seen play. Aside from Jason Bay, there is not one player on this team that I would pay money to watch play.
It is absolutely pathetic how bad the Pirates ownership has allowed this once proud and historic franchise to decay. Its an embarrassment to everyone involved.
Before the season, I figured they would lose about 100 games. Now, only losing 100 would be an accomplishment for the Pirates. Its just sad.
Biggest First Half Surprise: Freddy Sanchez cranking out a .358 average. Also, its a great use of the name Freddy instead of Fred.
Biggest First Half Bust: Oliver Perez not only being demoted to AAA, but not even being good at that level. What the hell happened to this guy (cough greenies cough).
The National League West looks like a bunch of siblings fighting without their parents around to lay down the law. Only the Giants have played with any reasonable (mediocrity) consistency. Current leader San Diego got off to an 8-15 start then broke off a 14-1 tear to take the lead. The Dodgers started off 12-17 and won 18 of their next 23 to vault into the lead. Arizona went on a month-and-a-half, 27-12 binge, got into first place then suffered through a 3-20 nightmare to fall all the way to last. And Colorado went the first two months of the season with a winning record, hit a 2-11 swandive, then battled back over .500 with a 17-10 surge. It would take a powerhouse to put this division in line; there isnt one. Right now, its as close to being everybodys as any division in baseball.
The pitching has been outstanding. Brandon Webb, Jason Schmidt and Brad Penny are 1-2-3 in the NL in ERA, and only Arizona as a team is out of the top five in league ERA. So youve got to give them that much. Then again, the current West leader is also the second-lowest scoring team in the league, and all five West teams are in the bottom six of the NL in home runs. Colorados Matt Holliday leads the division in home runs with just 16. The Rockies- the Rockies- are tops in the NL in sacrifice hits. The only saving graces, offensively, are Holliday (who is also hitting .336), and Nomar Garciaperra, the current league batting leader at .358. This is a division only John McGraw could love.
San Diego Padres (48-40: --)
Best Prediction: anyone who wouldnt want to play baseball for a living in San Diego, California is a goddamned moron.
This is no less true than it was in April.
Worst Prediction: Im not sold on the strategy of stocking the roster with 2004 Red Sox role players- Dave Roberts, Doug Mirabelli, Mark Bellhorn, Alan Embree.
Well, Bellhorn just isnt what you want out of a middle infielder. Thats a given. Embrees been eeh (waving hand). But Dave Roberts is contributing with his .364 OBP and 23 steals. And while Mirabelli only hit .182 in a Fathers uni, he did fetch from the Red Sox Josh Bard, who played himself out of Bahston by being, understandably, unable to catch Wakefields knuckler. Bard, Victor Martinezs backup in Cleve-Burgh last year, has a 1.032 OPS in over a hundred ABs in San Diego- a small sample size but still insane for a backup catcher.
Second Half: I picked em to finish first, theyre in first here in the second week a Jue-ly but Im not picking them to win this division. Theyre 18-11 in one-run games. Can they keep that up? Ill tend to doubt it (83-79: 2nd)
Los Angeles Dodgers (46-42: 2)
Best Prediction: There isnt one. I crapped the bed with the Dodgers. Its that simple.
Worst Prediction: Gagne is to the Dodgers as the Bandit was to Cletis Snow- without the voluptuous French-Canadian nailing down games; Los Angeles is anything but a championship contender.
This is one of many mistakes. Los Angeles is reasonably legitimate as it is, and if they nail down their closers spot, they are the best team in this division. Hopefully theyll deal Chad Billingsley to Cleveland for a half-season of Bob Wickman.
Second Half: What I just said. If the Dodgers get/find a closer, theyre the class of this ramshackle division. I guess Im picking them to be that, and win this thing (86-76: 1st).
Arizona Diamondbacks (43-45: 5)
Best Prediction: Brandon Webb may yet be a stud, and hed better be- the rest of the rotation is about as questionable as the official TWA 800 theory.
Brandon Webb is 9-3 and the National Leagues current ERA leader at 2.65. The rest of the rotation is Guarnica. Boo-yah.
Worst Prediction: Third baseman Chad Tracy (27 homers and a .912 OPS, and he makes less than 400K per annum) is a budding star, but its tough to see free-agent acquisitions Orlando Hudson and Johnny Estrada- who may never match his 2004 season in Atlanta- providing enough support to be worthy of their own paychecks, let alone carrying the Diamondbacks to any great heights.
As of today, Eastradas OPS is higher than Tracys. Tracy does have over 100 at-bats more than Estrada, and is still a better bang for the buck.
Second Half: The D-Backs, without the pitching depth and much of anything else, will slip soundlessly out of the race (76-86: 4th).
San Francisco Giants (45-44: 3.5)
Best Prediction: ...the non-story of Barry Bonds chasing a home run record hell never get, and that he doesnt deserve.
Not only does he not deserve it, he wont get it. Dude doesnt get enough pitches to hit: hes walked 74 times this year. Hes hitting .249, but he has a .474 OBP. Hes at 720. Still 36 dingers from the record. He will not reach it.
Worst Prediction: None, unless I think the Giants are an actual contender for the division, which I do not.
Second Half: Jason Schmidt has been great, Omar has been great (of course), but this team still aint getting nuthin but a few months older (77-85: 3rd).
Colorado Rockies (44-43: 3.5)
Best Prediction: None, really
Worst Prediction: They wont pitch in that place which chews up and spits out all pitchers; if you cant pitch, you cant win; therefore, Colorado will not win. Get it? Got it? Good.
Incredibly, amazingly, the Rockies are third in the National League in team ERA, at 4.27. This cannot be accounted for, least of all by me.
Second Half: Heres the cold water. One Colorado team has finished with a staff ERA under 5.00- the 95 team, and they were at 4.97. No, unlike the mediocrity of the NL West, this great pitching will not continue (73-89: 5th).
thanks dude Posted: 7/21/2006by: lo cal fuck the dodgers It's Like Being In Love With A Nun Posted: 7/14/2006by: Tangent Guy You can love the National League all you want, but she can't love you back.
Even Omar Minaya thinks the Mets are "ahead of schedule" - actually, it's not that they're good yet, it's that the rest of the teams they are playing suck donkey dick. Glavine is eligible for AARP; Pedro always breaks down mid-summer, and Trachsel in the rotation? (McEnroe voice) "You can NOT be SERIOUS!" Still, the Mets and the Cards are the class of the league and everyone else is a wannabe. But can either of those teams win the Series?
Interestingly, Milwaukee, Cincinnati and Florida are closer to being good than the Cubs, Pirates, Braves, Padres, or my pathetic Giants. Oh, and fuck the Dodgers - they suck, have always sucked, and will always suck. 100 millenia from now they will still be trying to exorcise the ghost of LaSordid from their sucky existence.
Have a nice weekend! OK Posted: 7/14/2006by: OD Its true, there might be 5 better teams in the AL than the Mets, but come september, the mets will hit cruise control with their 15 game lead and rest pedro and glavine before the playoffs. We'll scoop up one more pitcher before the deadline, shore up our only glaring weakness. They might not be the favorites to win it all just yet, but there is no team we Cant beat in a series, and I will be there.
