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Sorry, racists need not apply
I am opening a new, clean, hip, modern comedy club! Please come visit us soon!
The calendar of shows is as follows:
Monday: Latino Comedy Night Who's ready to fiesta?? If you are a Latino (that means you, Mexicans!), this is the night for you! Bienvenidos! Come be with Latinos and see Latino comedians performing Latino comedy for Latinos just like you! We've even got chips and salsa!!
Tuesday: African American Comedy Night Yo! This be da nite 4 African Americans (black people)! Warning: On this night, you might hear an African American comedian say the word nigger. On any other night of the week, there is a $100 fine for saying the word nigger on our stage- so rest assured that unless it is African American night, there is no need to fret about hearing the dreaded N-word. Unless you're into that sort of thing- if you are, then Tuesday is your night!!
Wednesday: Gay Comedy Night If you're queer and love to laugh your ass off, get down here on a Wednesday for gay comedians telling lots of gay jokes! The homosexual experience comes to life right on our very rainbow-decorated stage! It doesn't matter if you're a dyke or a dude or a butch or a femme- if you like sex with the same sex, we'd love to see you on a Wednesday!
Thursday: Asian American Comedy Night Be careful in the parking lot, it's Asian American night! If you love rice, martial arts and fortune cookies, be here on Thursday! We love you long time!
Friday: Female Comedy Night Whoever said chicks can't be funny hasn't been with us on a Friday- we've got estrogen galore, and we're not afraid to use it! If you have a vagina and breasts, well guess what, so do the comedians, so you will probably relate to their very feminine jokes about life as a woman!
Saturday: George Bush is a Dumbass Night Don't like GW? Let the Saturday night Bush-bashing meeting come to order! Every week we'll have Latino, African American, Gay, Asian American, female and even white male comedians all telling jokes about how retarded our President is! Plus $2 drink specials including the 'Dick Cheney Shot Me in the Face' shot.
at first, as I finished reading this I was angry, but then I realized why you put this firey hunk of shit on the website. I too was sick and tired of the hyperbole going on here, with several people saying every week that "this was the worst article ever." Well, with this article you have certainly ended that; now, they'll just say this was the worst article since that fucking gay ass multicultural comedy shit.
Posts: 1541 Rank: 6 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 5/25/2007 12:09:46 PM
On a related note I saw Gilbert Goddfried on the street yesterday. He looked confused and possibly homeless. Should this be on the other comment board?
I want everybody to throw their best and worst joke out there:
worst: why did Spartan Cross the road? Cause his dick was stuck in a chicken.
good, but long: A husband and wife are out on the golf course one day. On the sixth hole the wife slices her drive out of bounds and through the window of a nearby house. The couple are responsible people, so they go to the house to offer to pay for the window. They knock on the door and no response. They knock again, and a man pulls the door open, obvioiusly excited and out of breath repeatedly saying thank you. The husband, obviously confused says "excuse me but my wife just hit a golf ball through your window and we just wanted to offer to pay the damage." The man responds, "that's why I'm thanking you, I'm a genie and I've been stuck in this bottle for a thousand years. Your ball crashed through the window and shattered the bottle setting me free. I'm supposed to give the person that frees me three wishes, but since there are two of you and you said you did it by accident, why don't i give each of you one wish and keep the third for myself. The Genie explains that the wish can be absolutely anything imaginable. The husband states that he wants a million dollars a day every day for teh rest of his life, the genie replies "poof, it's done" the wife wishes for a house, a nice house in every country in the world... poof done. The couple begin grinning, then ask the genie what his wish is. He says "well, I've been cramped up in this bottle without a woman for a thousand years, what I really want is just a little time upstairs alone with your wife. The couple is immediately taken aback, but after considering all the money and houses, they agree to go along with it.
The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said,
"How old is your husband, anyway?" "35." she replied. "And he still believes in genies
short and to the point: A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, “How much?” He doesn’t hear her correctly and says “Come again?” She giggles and says “No…it’s just mustard this time.”
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