Use the form at the right to log in for more options.
Hollywood CA;Will Smith and Ben Affleck to star in “Worst Movie Ever Made”
As the pre-production notice for the upcoming Movie “Affirmative Action” was announced earlier this month, it is already garnering considerable buzz as being the worst movie ever made even though it’s initial production has not even started yet.
This week studio execs announced that Will Smith and Ben Affleck have signed on to be teamed up in the new film “Affirmative Action” due out sometime in 2006. The movie is described on IMDB.com as “A South Boston Cop and FBI agent - who both have different views on race - team to find a black soldier who goes A.W.O.L. after committing a crime.”
Anyone care to wager who going to portray the “South Boston Cop”? Gee! I wonder? I hope there are plenty of differences in race for them to riff on! I wonder what that’s going to be like. If it's anything like the racial barbs in Wild Wild West count me in! Coincidentally, you can also count me retarded.
Though no one doubts that this movie will surely rain shit on the nation’s theatres come 2006, many are contending that this project has the potential to be the worst popular movie of all time.
By simply comparing Smith and Affleck’s body of works, we can easily conclude that “Affirmative Action” will, no doubt, contain the following kernels of absolute shit:
Will Smith: saying “Aw Hell no!” no less then 23 times during the film.
Ben Affleck: doing that “acting” thing where he looks like he is asleep with his eyes open. (Mouth breathing and everything)
Will Smith: making fun of white people for being “un-cool”
Ben Affleck: being an un-cool White guy.
Will Smith: doing small mimicked dances to either, make fun of how stiff and rigid white people are, or to simply “Raise the roof" for himself no less then 9 times.
Ben Affleck: paying homage to his Boston roots by butchering a “Southie” Accent once again.
Will Smith: Saying “Oh no you didn’t” no less then 15 times.
Ben Affleck somehow referencing Carlton Fiske, Chowder, and the Kennedy’s in the same Sentence.
If Only Life Imitated Art
Will Smith failing miserably to escape being the Fresh Prince for 90 minutes.
Ben Affleck:"sort of grinning" no less then 58 times.
Ben Affleck: can assume that he will recieve 30 calls a day from Kevin Smith just to "See what old Ben is up to and if he has any work for him"
DJ Jazzy Jeff: will once again be credited as “Craft Services” (He will also take most of the food home)
We could assume all those with any Will Smith and Ben Affleck movie but given the limited plot information we can also predict the following:
Ben Affleck will drive a beat up old car that Will Smith will invariably make fun of. Like so:
Smith: This is your ride? (Removes shades) Affleck:Yeah this is my caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Smith: Aw Hell No!
Smith will have an awkward first encounter with Affleck. Like so
Smith: I’m Agent (Douchebag) FBI. I’m here about- Affleck: (interrupting in a very mannequin like fashion) I know who you aaaaare. Just stay outta my way Smith:Oh no you didn’t Affleck: Oh yes I did Smith:Aw Hell no
Ben Affleck will have some kind of heart to heart with Smith. Probably talking about how they both came up on their own respective mean streets.
Smith:Well back in Philly I saw a lotta my friends get mixed up on the streets. So don’t lecture me about what’s right and wrong.
Affleck:I’ve been on da streets before. I know all abaaaaat it! You’re ok Philly. (Or whatever bullshit moniker is used)
Anyway you slice this movie up; it’s going to be a real pile of garbage with an annoying cross promotion from Burger King or Taco bell. (Maybe a tie in with Doritos)
So have fun and don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m already giving this movie 5 Un-stars. That means that this will be the first movie you’ll ever see where you feel you have had stars taken from you as you watch.
Thanks for the warning, I hope this movie gets Cancer!
chunky
be creative
()
Post #: 2
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 4/19/2005 8:30:14 AM
to really throw people off they should have will smoth play the baaston cop and ben dickfuck play the south side of philly ex-gangsta cop.
Jack
AWESOME!!
()
Post #: 3
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 4/19/2005 10:40:56 AM
I hope Drew Barrymore is in it!!
Tim
Get a life
()
Post #: 4
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 4/19/2005 11:28:34 AM
This article is ten times worse than any Affleck movie i have never seen. Im not saying i dont agree, but dude, if youre gonna talk shit, then do it, dont be a pussy!
o.rob
Usage Rights?
()
Post #: 5
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 4/19/2005 11:47:48 AM
Dude, someone is going to get in trouble for leaking parts of the script.
Mike
I thought this movie was a joke
()
Post #: 6
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 4/19/2005 12:33:01 PM
I googled it and you're not joking...wtf?
Tom
Call Me Sir
()
Post #: 7
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 4/19/2005 12:36:57 PM
We need more articles like this plain and simple. Because we have to start proving that this shit is so predictable from the get-go.
May I add another prediction:
Gene Shalit will LOVE it! Jim Ferguson will LOVE IT! And most of the TV critics from KRAP will love it. And the next one will be "the rare sequel that's even better than the first!!!!"
kyle
Fair Prediction
()
Post #: 8
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 4/19/2005 1:54:14 PM
I hope to God Jimmy Fallon has a cameo in this. You can also bet that there will be plenty of scenes with Affleck in a BoSox hat. There will also be cameos from several Sox players because the directors will wrongly presume that the country doesn't suck enough proverbial Red Sox cock yet.
ab
Video? New Dance Routine
()
Post #: 9
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 4/19/2005 3:19:06 PM
I was just wondering what beat from the 70's or 80's Will Smith will be butchering while hoping to get street cred when he makes a video and matching dance to coincide with opening of the movie?
Skrid jr
Good stuff
()
Post #: 10
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 4/19/2005 8:44:16 PM
I can't wait for the Burger King "Affirmitive Action" Blackened Angus White Cheddar Burger Extra Value Meal. I'm getting mine with a Coke and onion rings.
Use the form at the right to log in for more options.
Posts: 
