Yep. Thats my junk youre staring at right now. Nope. Im not wearing my towel here in the locker room. Why should I? You think I care if a bunch of dudes look at me naked? Fuck no! If they do, theyre probably just jealous or gay. I just got done working out. My delts and tris are burning. Im fucking ripped. Time to talk to you, random guy near my locker. I had a great workout today. How long you been lifting? Yeah, Ive been lifting forever. As you can tell, cause I am fucking ripped. What did you do today? Legs and back? Thats pretty much my warmup. I was working out with my personal trainer. Whos your personal trainer? Mines Terry. What? You dont have a personal trainer? You just work out on your own? Who pushes you? No wonder youre so small, dude. You have got to work out with Terry. He is fucking great! Fucking great!
Why is that dude taking off so quick? He hasnt even showered. I know it isnt cause Ive got my leg hiked up on the bench and my balls are inches from his face. Hes probably uncomfortable with his sexuality. Not me. I am still walking around this place naked. I am totally going to walk over to the showers naked. Fuck it! My towel is over my shoulder. Not my waist. I mean, it is the fucking locker room. Were men and we dont care if were nude running around in here. Everyone is cool with that. Except for those dudes with their towels around them. Probably scared of me and my junk. Probably embarrassed about being naked. It cant be cause they just dont think its cool to run around flashing everyone.
Great shower. WHEW! I am still totally ripped. I like to dry off in front of the mirror. That way I can make sure I am still totally ripped. Awesome. Sweet! Here comes Terry.
Terry, what's up? Great workout. Lets do it again tomorrow. Abs and gluts, what do you say? You arent working tomorrow? Fuck it. Come in anyway so we can lift together. I dont need to take a day off from the gym, why should you? Pussy. HA. Just fucking with you man. Great workout today. You are the best trainer here. The fucking best!
Can't wait to use this in the locker room
Shit yeah, you hear that? My cell is ringing. Fuck yeah, cant get a moment's peace. Probably some big deal from work that cant wait. Good thing everyone in the locker room can hear it ring. Ive got the ringer all the way up. What if I was still in the shower? How could I have heard it in there if it wasnt all the way up? Yeah, I just put my Bluetooth on. So now it will look like Im standing here naked talking to the fucking air. Sweet! Its Kadee. She is so into me. Probably cause Im so gaddamn ripped.
Hey baby! Whats up? Why am I yelling? Cause Im in the locker room.
Its hard to hear in this place. So I yell. Oh yeah, everyone can hear me.
My junk looks good in these
Oh yeah, Ill pick up a bottle of wine. Jimmy down at the wine store is going to hook me up. Fuck yeah, you know Ive got a wine guy, baby. Ive got a guy for everything. You got to have a guy. Whats that? No, baby, I wont call you Terry in bed tonight.
Yep, these new bikini briefs are going to look good on me. Time to get dressed in front of the mirror. Got to make sure my junk looks good in these things. Ah, yeah. These fit AWESOME! I look fucking great. Terry- I mean Kadee- is going to love these on me. Why are these dudes giving me weird looks when they walk over here? They got a problem with me making sure I look good?
Previous Post Posted: 6/6/2006by: Tom A Wasn't me.
Imitation is what, again? So true Posted: 6/2/2006by: RVE Awesome article and so very true. Hilarious!! Posted: 6/2/2006by: PV Great article! Though that last picture was definitely unneccessary.
You need to write a seperate one about the dude in the locker room who's so damn old he doesn't give a shit if everyone has to see his fat saggy ass or balls drag along the locker room floor.
There was a dude like that in my old gym. There weren't assigned lockers but i guess this old dude must have had his favorite, cause he decided he could only use the locker direcly above my head (even though there were about 60 other lockers to choose from in the vicinity. Old dude gets buck ass nekkid and decides the hop up on the bench to put his stuff into the locker, buck ass nekkid. Dudes balls were like 8 inches from my forehead!
I've also seen another old dude in that same gym decide that there is nothign wrong with using the locker room blow dryer to dry off his nut sack after a soak in the whirlpool. Cool Posted: 6/2/2006by: Beetle Thanks for the explanation. Sorry I lost my cool like a lil' bitch! Okay Posted: 6/2/2006by: dc Call off the FBI and Fox News. We've verified Christine has not been abducted. Not Christine Posted: 6/2/2006by: Keyser Soze for sure - commented on the wedding article yesterday and wished everyone a good weekend... Striped Shirt Guy works out at the gym.... Posted: 6/2/2006by: Shelly too funny - thanks! Really?!?! Posted: 6/2/2006by: Provo Ive seen that show once or twice, DC, and it seems to me that if thre's anything SpongeBob and Patrick can't resist, its Speed.....(the narcotic)... bill Posted: 6/2/2006by: ShortDave Actually from the what the ladies in my gym say there is definately a female equivalent. Just ladies who stand around naked and talk to one another, generally creeping out the other members. We tend to weed out the crappy members in my gym though, public ridicule works wonders.
Article was awesome by the way, loved it.
SDave Editor's note Posted: 6/2/2006by: Jus We are getting more spam posts these days. So, yes, more posts with links are getting deleted. New version of the site coming soon will have a simple login feature that should stop most of the random spam posts. We try not to pull down the ones that we know are real posts but sometimes they get cleared out so fast that we screw up. Sorry. Don't know which editor pulled down the url signature posts. But repeatedly posting a URL kinda is spamming isn't it? If you've got a funny blog you should email us and maybe we can add it to the permanent links page. Even writers aren't supposed to advertise other sites in their articles. They do it in their bios or on the links page.
-Justin Harvey
PS I believe Jesse actually picked to run this article, and yes it is pretty damn funny.
