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Every other Thursday, Jim Fath & Rick Falcon break down the top 11. That's 10% more that you'll get anywhere else.

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by: JIM FATH
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We are all, essentially still children. And that includes Jim Fath and Rick Falcon. True, we are larger now, we are 30, and like most adults we have jobs and car payments and parole officers, but we really aren't much different from when we were kids. Our sense of humors have become just slightly more refined in that the sight of Jim Carrey pretending to talk out of his butthole used to thrill us to the point of exhaustion, but now merely mildly amuses us.

But there are some types of juvenile humor that have never nor will ever lose their entertainment value for us. A well timed elevator fart. Video of a skater kid breaking his collarbone while attempting some gay trick on a railing outside of a library. And of course, very fat people trying to perform every day tasks to no avail.

But above all these admittedly sophomoric pleasures is our passion for inappropriately named towns and state parks. I remember the sheer joy that swept over me as a child when traveling through Southern Ohio on our way to go camping, (AKA poor family vacation) on the Mohican River. About a half mile before arriving at our nine dollar camp site, we would pass a campground called camp Twodick.

This was the single most hilarious thing that my young eyes had ever seen. And it still hasn't stopped being funny to me. If I passed that place right now, I would start laughing, and then try to wrestle the signpost out of the ground to keep as a souvenir until a ranger shooed me off.

We're certain you're aware that this great country of ours in brimming with hilarious town names. There's a "Boneville Georgia" and a "French Lick Indiana". And one can't help but wonder what myopic settlers named these towns without thinking twice about their dual meaning And who are these stalwart citizens that continue to live in places such as "Onacock Virginia" despite the constant razzing they undoubtedly receive from the benignly named neighboring town of Greenville?

For whatever reason, Pennsylvania seems to have an outright glut of sexually-named towns. It's almost as if the first settlers there were frat guys, and the Sigma Chis just went apeshit, naming towns solely to try to make their "brothers for life" laugh. And who was going to stop them? The Amish or the Quakers?

Now, of course we realize that just rattling off eleven PA towns with funny names wouldn't really make for much of a list. So we took the extra step of going online, finding some phone numbers for each town, and prank-calling a resident. We figured if we were going to go "high school humor", we might as well go all the way.

As it turns out, prank calling people is way harder than we remembered. And we still can't figure out whether we've gotten really bad at pranking since we were 14 due to a lack of practice, or whether we were always really bad and just didn't realize it back then. Regardless, some of these are pretty lame, and we fully admit that. But they are all genuine. Enjoy!


1 Beaver Falls, PA

The word Beaver is hilarious because it also means vagina. You could tell that the guy at this Bowling Alley was used to having teens call him and harass him based upon this fact.




2 Reamstown, PA

It took Jim a little while to get to the joke in this one, but eventually it paid off as far as we're concerned. Notice that Jim affects different accents through all of these for some reason, as if someone might recognize his voice if he doesn't.


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COMMENTS  1-10 out of 43 Post Comment Message Board View
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vertigo Rick Falcon () Post #: 1
View Profile Posts: 1134
Rank: 5
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  dallas, TX
Posted: 7/19/2007 10:46:58 AM
Is an astounding name, up there with Annalisa Ellis.

Fath always brings it, and congrats on a subject that will kill with the lower IQ commenters.

DLamp, perhaps Gobbler's Knob could be your fantasy team name.

Game: Today, end each post with a line from a song. Level of coherence is irrelevant.

"You don't care about what I think, I'll think I'll just stay here and drink."
Arrogant Bastahhd Nice work boys () Post #: 2
View Profile Posts: 1198
Rank: 13
Joined:  2/22/2007
Location:  miami, FL
Posted: 7/19/2007 11:13:04 AM
I grew up in PA, and I'm proud that we have more sexually charged town names than any other state in the nation. Also, we have a California University and an Indiana University in Pennsylvania. That's right bitches, we don't care if that's what you named your state, what are you gonna do?
Arrogant Bastahhd fuck, my bust, here ya go () Post #: 3
View Profile Posts: 1198
Rank: 13
Joined:  2/22/2007
Location:  miami, FL
Posted: 7/19/2007 11:15:00 AM
"one scotch, one bourbon and one beer."
Chester Tang Venue () Post #: 4
View Profile Posts: 234
Rank: 28
Joined:  5/31/2007
Location:  Gilbert, AZ
Posted: 7/19/2007 11:23:56 AM
Funny town names and signs are much more humorous when passed unexpectantly and when one is a little "punchy" from sitting in a car for multiple hours at a time. I thouroghly enjoy passing a "safty pullout" sign or "dry beaver creek" on a roadie, but when you tell people about the signs - it gets a polite chuckle at most. The pictures did help.

"I'll bust a nut up in your eye, to show you where I come from"

dc The pitch our tents line () Post #: 5
View Profile Posts: 1141
Rank: 15
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  Clearwater, FL
Posted: 7/19/2007 11:43:10 AM
Was my favorite part of any of the calls. I likey.

"A good time was had by all and all were had."



Christine I can't () Post #: 6
View Profile Posts: 2748
Rank: 1
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 7/19/2007 11:49:56 AM
Listen to any of these. I will have to do it tonight.

Me and some friends drove to Intercourse just to take lude pictures. its hysterical. the people who live there do not feel its as funny. and they made fun of us more than we could of them.

there is also a Corny, PA. this cracks me up. Hi, I live in Corny PA. I go to Corny Highschool and play football for the Corny Wildcats. Ha!

In honor to a concert I will be attending tonight:

"When you find your servant is your master"
dc The Police () Post #: 7
View Profile Posts: 1141
Rank: 15
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  Clearwater, FL
Posted: 7/19/2007 12:01:20 PM
Christine,

How can you afford to go to that concert?

P.S. Say hi to Sting for me.
vertigo poor family vacation () Post #: 8
View Profile Posts: 1134
Rank: 5
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  dallas, TX
Posted: 7/19/2007 12:02:26 PM
Great line. Other poor family vacations?
The mall
The zoo
Dairy Queen
A softball tournament

Best prank caller? Bart Simpson

"You make me feel like I don't need another, come on baby let's pull back the covers."
Christine DC () Post #: 9
View Profile Posts: 2748
Rank: 1
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 7/19/2007 12:03:10 PM
It was only 70 bucks. I will have several nose bleeds tonight I'm sure, but whatever.
Christine Fuck () Post #: 10
View Profile Posts: 2748
Rank: 1
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 7/19/2007 12:05:22 PM
Sorry vert.



"I once got busy in a burger king bathroom".
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