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We know what you gonna say
Contemporary radio formats are as stale now as they've ever been. Having been glued to our Ipods for the past 3 years, Rick Falcon and Jim Fath felt compelled to revisit this age old entertainment format for this week's list.
Our plan was simple; we'd listen to nothing but radio for a week and see what we found. On day two Rick contemplated suicide and Jim destroyed his stereo, clock radio, and his Toyota factory cassette stereo. So after only after a days worth of listening we present to you following list:
The Ultimate 11 Radio Formats
Local Sports Talk DJ
This poor bastard has to fill three hours, every day, even during baseball season. And you can only interview a relief pitcher so many times. That means he has to fill the majority of the time taking calls from moron sports fans. He doesn't want to sound completely rude when they call in with completely ridiculous trade scenarios that would never happen and retarded commentary about last night's game. But you can hear his contempt for these mouth-breathers grow with each passing day.
Classic Rock DJ
Would it kill you to mix it up a little, Classic Rock DJ? Did you know that Pink Floyd, AC/DC, and Rush have an extensive catalog of songs to choose from? Feel free to play as many as you like and not just the same four every hour on the hour. Seriously, I can set my watch to Ted Nugent "Strangle Hold"
Oldies Format
This is pretty much the same as the Classic Rock station with an added 30-40 years to the age of the average listener. Somehow this station always finds ways to remind it's listeners that they are near death with constant benchmarks like "On this date in 1963 the number one song was..." or by filling you in on birthdays of people you thought were dead like Peter Tork and Del Shannon along side birthdays of people that are actually dead like Richie Valens, Sonny Bono soon to be you.
Classical Music DJ
This guy has the cherriest DJ job in the biz. Each song lasts about four hours, giving him time to complete at least 12 sudokus every day. Plus there's no pressure if he screws something up, because no one is listening any ways.
great work. Morning radio is compiled of a room full of dorks with microphones. only reason people think the morning dj's are "cool" is because the morning dj's say they are. At home they are pathetic. Who wants to hear 2 to 5 lame ass people babble about current entertainment bullshit while the top 4 pop songs are in constant rotation?
Posts: 65 Rank: 96 Joined:
7/12/2007
Location:
Buffalo, NY
Posted: 8/2/2007 9:10:14 AM
listen to the radio anymore? My mom (yes I still live with my parents, fuck you for judging me) listens to morning talk radio RELIGIOUSLY. She even turns that shit on when she's at home on days off. Personally, I'd rather dangle my balls in a blender than listen to a group of downies discuss "how cute that movei was" for a fucking hour.
Posts: 16 Rank: 191 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Reading, PA
Posted: 8/2/2007 9:12:14 AM
Ben FM in Philly is by far the gayest format in existence. Nothing but lame ass soft rock and self promoting commercials between every song with the J. Peterman guy from Seinfeld.
Bob, Frank, Jack - theres one in every city now.
Makes me want to rip my stereo out of the console and toss it on the interstate
Posts: 1252 Rank: 8 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/2/2007 9:44:02 AM
Troy - you need some work
Muenster - Always solid
Jizz - how old are you? This is an adult website (sort of) And your mom listens to Janet and Nick in the morning right?, The fucking worst ever. Kill your mom while she's asleep and dump her body in a oil barrel filled with her and cement into the blackrock canal (Yes it's been done before with less than optimum results but i have a feeling it will work for you)
Anger R. - We have Jack in Buffalo, you get the feeling they are promoting themselves because nobody wants to advertise on their shit station, i don't think this format is going to last much longer, anywhere.
Posts: 1049 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
Denver, CO
Posted: 8/2/2007 10:04:20 AM
Would love the rock station here. Its basically all tool, all the time. Oh yea I forgot to mention they only play the most recent single, and thats only when they can find time between the 45 minutes of commercials. Radio is worthless, get an ipod or a MP3 disc player for your car. You can fit about 15 albums on a single MP3 cd.
Posts: 65 Rank: 96 Joined:
7/12/2007
Location:
Buffalo, NY
Posted: 8/2/2007 10:06:27 AM
Janet Snyder needs to be raped over a pinball machine (a la Jodie Foster) then disemboweled. It's not enough that her family is rediculously wealthy, she then has to rub it in our face by pulling strings to get a well-payed DJ job? She's a parasite to our society.
It's astounding how terrible hip hop radio is. If they aren't shouting in-between songs they interrupt the currently playing song with random shouts of "Yeah!" and terrible mumbling. Then they add a horrific air raid siren to EVERY FUCKING SONG for some reason as well. I keep thinking the fucking Japanese are dive-bombing whenever I hear that shit. Fuck the radio.
Posts: 1252 Rank: 8 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/2/2007 10:22:28 AM
Did you just say "well-payed DJ job" that's a paradox. You're showing your age.
And what the fuck job do you have at 18 where you can fuck off on the internet all day? It takes years of schooling and getting shit on by others to attain such a position. You should be doing manual labor you little fuck, now go get a landscaping job.
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