OCALA, Florida- Thomas Rolfe, 42, a general contractor and frequent card player, is still distraught over his recent loss in a marathon 9-hour game of Strip Solitaire. Rolfe, who neighbors describe as a the type of guy who lives in our neighborhood, spent the majority of last Sunday perched in front of his coffee table armed only with a ramekin of French Onion Dip, a two-liter bottle of Lipton Brisk Iced Tea, and his favorite deck of cards.
He was alone in his home.
I was bored...actually, is there another word that means, like, REALLY bored? Cause if there is a word for that, whatever that word is, thats what I was, said a pallid and visibly shaken Rolfe. I remember just being home alonevery, very alone, and then recalling a scene from a movie where people were playing strip poker. They seemed like they were having a good time, but I didnt know how to play poker.
Rolfe consulted the Post-It Note on his refrigerator, and called everyone he knew, looking for somebody interested in a naughty card game. Unfortunately, every number he dialed was no longer in service.
As is so often the case, necessity was the mother of invention.
Strip Poker, obviously, but why not Strip Gin Rummy, Strip Asshole, Strip Go Fish, anything for that matter? Now, Solitaire is MY game; always has been, always will be. So I was like, Hey lets give it a whirl I figured that stripping could be applied to any card game, said Rolfe.
 | Butt-naked, please. |
Needless to say, I was very wrong.
After turning over 2 aces on his initial deal, Mr. Rolfe assumed he was in for a quick and easy game where he would be able to keep most of his clothes on. But after starting two runs (clubs and diamonds) that both made it to 7 he hit a snag.
That damn Red King to Black Queen combo just never came up. By the time that bitch finally showed her head, my Onion Dip was gone and I was ass-naked and chafing. I dont remember anything after that.
According to neighbors, Rolfe emerged from his home more than 8 hours later, bruised and naked with playing cards stuck to his dilapidated torso. Even though he acknowledges that the experience was trying, he says he has no regrets.
Sometimes in life you gotta go all out, win or lose...put yourself on the line and try to be a hero. Thats what I did.
I played Strip Solitaire.
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