FOXBORO, MA. (AP) -- Oakland Raiders wide receiver Randy Moss expressed shock and anger after learning that he had not been drafted in the first round of the State Farm Insurance Claims Department fantasy football league.
Moss accused the fantasy team owners in the Claims Department league of having "some short-ass memories," and equated being selected in the second round of the draft (13th pick overall) to "getting bitch slapped."
Moss' comments came after the Raiders' opening game, a 30-20 loss to the Patriots. Though Moss had hooked up with quarterback Kerry Collins for 130 receiving yards and a touchdown, his post-game remarks focused almost exclusively on the Claims Department fantasy draft.
"My TD's per fantasy start last year was better than five of the guys picked ahead of me, and I can prove that shit," said Moss. He then dug into his locker and produced a spreadsheet comparing his own statistics over the last three seasons to those of his "peer offensive players."
The spreadsheet, which Moss said he had prepared on his "fully tricked out" Dell Inspiron 9300 laptop computer, detailed his performance in six statistical categories, including touchdowns and receiving yards.
But as Moss was quick to point out, "the really key numbers are fantasy points per game, and the ratio of fantasy point production to that of opposing receivers and running backs in any particular week. In 13 of 16 games last year I outscored both the top receiver and running back on my fantasy opponent's team.
State Farm Spokesman: 'Fantasy football? Bitch, please. I'm knee deep in Katrina right now.'
"I mean, shit, in half the weeks the ratio of my fantasy points to the opponent's top wideout was more than 2.3 to 1. Those Claims Department motherfuckers just ain't doin' they homework."
According to Moss' analysis, he should've been drafted "somewhere from sixth to ninth" in the ten-team State Farm league.
"Look, I know the league's scoring is skewed towards running backs, and I know [San Diego Chargers running back Ladainian] Tomlinson is going to go number one. But I think some of these guys just went with hunches instead of breaking down the numbers, especially [Senior Claims Manager Rick] Fetzel and [Data Analyst Ron] Cippollone.
"Sometimes I wonder how those guys even got hired into the Claims Department. Back in the day you had to come correct in terms of quantitative analysis if you wanted a job up in that piece."
Moss' comments undermine the widely held belief that NFL players don't care about fantasy football -- a viewpoint to which Moss takes exception.
"Some of these ignorant bitches might not give a shit," said Moss as he looked around the locker room with contempt. "You know, especially some of the rookies and the guys on defense. All they care about is winning games and getting to the playoffs and shit.
"But the guys who've been around awhile know that the real fans ain't gonna be satisfied with just a win on the field. They also want to talk shit over e-mail about who's got the best fantasy team. If players like me don't step up and take care of business, then guys like [Claims Disbursement Coordinator Jared] Osterweil ain't gonna be able to do that. And that'd be a goddamn shame."
He Is Right Posted: 9/17/2005by: Stu Any stupid ass that picks Moss 13th in the fantasy draft is a dumb shit anyway. Moss is right to call these assholes out on their stupidity. I grabbed him right away and he paid out ten-fold for me last week. Thanks to Moss i got to talk shit (via e-mail) all this past week to the guy I beat head-to-head. Thanks Randy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'obviousley' Posted: 9/14/2005by: Crit Too easy. Anyway, take it easy I'm on your side Matt. Crit Posted: 9/14/2005by: matt Hey Crites's go fuck yourself. Oh I obviousley meant Crit. ? Posted: 9/14/2005by: Crit Who the fuck is 'Mosse's'? I'll assume you meant Moss. Obviously this article was a fun take on both fantasy football and making an 'ignant' mofo like moss appear intellectual. Jerk. Good job Dan, you're the best. Not bad Posted: 9/14/2005by: matt Though I don't think you got Mosse's charcter right.
