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by: DAVE AMIOTT
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With the announcement of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' resignation on Monday, producers of the popular cable-television news satire program "The Daily Show" are regretting their decision to take a two-week hiatus.

"Man, we are kicking ourselves," said executive producer Troy McClintock. "We thought we'd be in the clear, since Rove announced he was leaving last week. We figured unless something big happened like Condoleezza Rice losing an eye in a fishing accident or Britney accidentally feeding one of her kids to a manatee that it would be an uneventful couple of weeks. But now with Gonzales leaving, and all the speculation over possible replacements, I really wish we on the air to make fun of it."

"The people who really lose out are the viewers," added segment producer Elliot Kahn. "Most of them get all of their news from our show, so they won't have any idea that this is even happening. I mean, when we show reruns and it's all 'Bush said something stupid, something blew up in Iraq, here's an interview with the author if a book you'll never read' a lot of them don't even notice that they've watched those episodes already. Of course, pot helps."

Many have compared "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart's vacation arrangements to the deal that Johnny Carson had with NBC during his time as host of "The Tonight Show". Both men work only four nights a week, have eight weeks of scheduled vacation during the year, and have massive writing staffs who do most of the actual work.

"It's a shame to miss out on all the Gonzales stuff, but frankly, a lot of us needed a break too." Said staff writer Rachel Shapiro. "We were getting kind of burned out trying to find new jokes about the presidential candidates when they just kept saying the same stuff over and over. Plus, a lot of us got really frustrated that we couldn't make all the dead coal miner jokes we wanted to because of issues of 'good taste'. It was really disappointing.

"The correspondents get a bum deal when we go on hiatus like this also." She added. "They don't have the same sweetheart deal that Jon does, so Samantha Bee had to take a job as the Assistant Night Manager at the Sbarro's on 133rd street. And Riggle's gone back to breaking people's thumbs for his bookie."

Still, the producers are confident that they will retain their loyal viewership in spite of the two-week lapse of topicality.

"We're the only game in town," boasted McClintock. "I mean, where else are people going to go for fake news and self-referential in-jokes? The Internet? Ha! I'd like to see that!"
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COMMENTS  1-10 out of 100 Post Comment Message Board View
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Balls Phantastic () Post #: 1
View Profile Posts: 1517
Rank: 5
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  New York, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 9:15:14 AM
Good shit here, my man. To describe the attitude of this show as smug would be a massive understatement. I still think it's great, but they might be getting a little big for their britches and think they're more powerful than they are. And when they get called on it Jon Stewart will just say they don't have to take responsibility because they're on Comedy Central which is bullshit.
BN weak () Post #: 2
View Profile Posts: 1253
Rank: 7
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 9:32:17 AM
Balls said exactly the same thing with an eighth the words. Speaking of that does anyone else know what is one eighth or 3.5 grams, exactly, an 8-Ball(s) conincidence? I think not. Fuck off everybody, if Christine can get drunk on monday night i can have "coke talk Tuesday"


Stiggs Man () Post #: 3
View Profile Posts: 263
Rank: 28
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  East Lansing, MI
Posted: 8/28/2007 9:33:41 AM
It's been 20 minutes since my journalism professor began talking about how he coached Derek Jeter in little league, and right now my eyes are glazing over and from what I hear, we're talking about Nicole Ritchie.


I hate myself.
Balls Little Nicky () Post #: 4
View Profile Posts: 1517
Rank: 5
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  New York, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 9:37:46 AM
An eighth, or 8-ball of 3.5 grams is 1/8 of an ounce of something. Is that what you were asking?
Stiggs Man () Post #: 5
View Profile Posts: 263
Rank: 28
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  East Lansing, MI
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:01:50 AM
This wall is slower than a down syndrome foot race. Since my class just now finished talking about Nicole Ritchie and other "celebrity news", I feel dumber than I did before now that I know she's going to have a baby with a guy from Good fucking Charlotte.

Here's a game idea to spark discussion: You have only one hand. What would you have surgically implanted (other than another hand) on your arm?


BN Balls () Post #: 6
View Profile Posts: 1253
Rank: 7
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:01:58 AM
I wasn't asking
Balls Wait () Post #: 7
View Profile Posts: 1517
Rank: 5
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  New York, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:07:14 AM
So, you were just asking if anyone else knew that? Yes Nick, some of us did. Please have your intern type your posts now to ensure clarity and proper punctuation and grammar. Thanks
BN Stiggs () Post #: 8
View Profile Posts: 1253
Rank: 7
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:08:39 AM
Anybody that has seen Army of Darkness knows the only acceptable substitute for a hand is a chain saw.
Balls Stiggs () Post #: 9
View Profile Posts: 1517
Rank: 5
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  New York, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:09:25 AM
A penis.
BN I hope this is clear enought () Post #: 10
View Profile Posts: 1253
Rank: 7
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:11:07 AM
FUCK YOU BALLS!!!


Did you get that?


I think your gash of a boss is expecting some TPS reports, don't forget the coversheet
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